Mind can and will justify almost anything that it perceives as a vital self-interest.
Frankly, I sorta understand a college dude, hormones raging and all, who is willing to have his logic undertake any leap needed, so that he gets his rocks off, and carries on with this life as usual.
It takes a lot more empathy
to understand a grown up, married dude, fully aware of the risks involved still believing that it is not cheating because he is not doing with a female??!
And it takes even more empathy and quite some good will to understand the wives who were promised absolute monogamy but shrug with their shoulders and say, 'it's the boys' thing... he is a good provider, takes care of me and the kids, so it does not matter.'
I'd be the last one to judge these guys, but yeah, the leap of logic is fascinating.
KD