You're at an age where you know you're gay but don't know what gay is really. When you find yourself in public areas you sense men staring at you but you still don't know what gay is. You find yourself going more often to these places but you're very young and still....don't know what gay is. You are a bit older now and have your ears out for some understanding of what gay is but really....you don't know what gay is. You know you get a hard on every 5 minutes and the fantasy is always being naked with a man but still....you don't know what gay is. You get flashed by a man at the top floor of the library and he follows you to the bathroom and as you stand by the urinal he stands at the next one and he's looking at your hairless dick throbbing and now you're starting to get an idea what gay is. One day you're delivering the afternoon newspapers of a 14 story apartment complex and a man talks to you about how exactly he wishes to have his newspaper delivered and now you're thinking if im going to understand what gay is I hope it's with this guy. You forget to deliver the paper exactly as he says and he chases you down before you get to the stairs and sternly asks if he should write down his instructions for me and now you're thinking if I say yes i just may get a lesson to what gay is.

You enter his apartment as he's writing something down and you see there is a movie with naked men doing things you didn't even consider and just by that glance you are thinking it's time to know what gay is. So you slowly walk towards the TV and only focus on just what n the heck are these guys doing and you're getting a serious upgrade to what has always puzzled you about what gay is. Your newspaper customer is saying something to you but all attention is towards this incredible movie explaining all what gay is. To get my attention he stands n front of me totally naked with a giant dick and finally, you are going to leave this place with some knowledge of what gays is.

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Well! This account is quite a discovery!

Keep writing and please share more!

~ Bob

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Damn - when I was 14 and delivered newspapers I never had any customers like that!

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So you spend every minute after school discovering what gay is. You spend hour after hour learning how to swallow an enormous cock down your throat and trying to figure how far a huge cock like this can go up your ass. You orgy with your new friends, friends and take everything they can give you from practically taking an arm up your ass to 5 men jacking off in your mouth in your effort to learn what gay is. You inhale poppers, smoke pot and snort coke at some seriously decadent bathhouses and nudist parties while fuckng, sucking and cumming and being the center of attention at all hours of the night to achieve a full understanding of what gay is.

You ponder one rainy day if in fact all this debauchery....as fun as it is at is at times....is actually what gay is.

You graduate college, you get a job, you remember all the crazy fun you used to have, you have a few flings but nothing memorable and you start all over thinking what gay is.

You meet a man 20 years your senior ( let's face it...it's your calling) at a coffee shop and he lives on a marina on a 35 foot sailboat and you join him for a tour of his boat and an hour later you have mind altering sex......

....for the next 30 years with him

You are absolutely sure now just what gay is.

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There are, clearly, many more than fifty shades of gay...

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A few of my college day buddies and I kept wondering if we were gay because we were so prone to debauchery or if we were so prone to debauchery because we were gay. No one ever came up with any sensible reply save for the fact that we all agreed that one thing reinforced the other pretty much ad infinitum.

The huge line of division divided the guys who 'played', i.e., managed to get laid one way or the other and the guys who did not play, because they were dumb, not good enough or whatever. Having m2m sex was an important detail that you wanted to keep under the taps by all means. But it still was only a detail if compared with the monumental importance 18 and 19 year olds attached to getting laid!

KD

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I always find it interesting to hear people tell how they came to the realization they are gay or bi...

Some where it slowly dawned on them and others who just always seemed to know they were attracted to guys.

It seems that no two people realized it in exactly the same way....

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Great story and writing. Such an interesting perspective.

I remember my moment. I was in the locker room of SF State after a swim lesson. I was 9. Some college boy walked up naked to his locker beside the one I was using and he was hanging a big boy and if I recall correctly....a half chubby. Anyway my eyes were wide open strarng hard at that thing and he even flopped it a bit for me.

That's all it took.

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That story seems similar to my gay history. Although I do remember when I was a teen lying on my back naked, hard and had a seriously hard cock inches away from changing my virgin status I was wondering, "am I this gay?"

Seriously, this thing was no doubt gong to cause me some pain and before this I was just fine with sucking, Hj's, nudey parties, gloryholes, etc.

I mean really....did I really need to do this?


The answer was yes!

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