Bathhouse Question

Specific200 · #1 3rd August 2006, 02:24 AM

I've never been to a bath house, but I've thought about going. The only problem I have is that I would not like a place where every other guy you see is trying to talk you into sex. I hate when guys continually cruise me in bookstores. I mean, if a guy goes into the opposite booth, and then I leave and go to another one, and then I see him again in the next booth, ok I know he's interested. That's ok. But if I show no interest, It spoils my mood to keep having him follow me.

I would assume that not all These are like that? For example, it would be nice to find one where I could take a swim and then take a shower, get a hard on, and check other guys hardons out in a discreet manner, and then if there is interest for both, some play perhaps. Or go into the steam room and kick back and not have to worry about getting a hard on and checking out other hardons without getting always hit on. I guess I'm just a little less aggressive in this way. But still, I mean it's pretty easy to see if someone is interested in you without asking them straight out or being obnoxious. I mean if two guys are in the steam room and one get s a boner, and the other one keeps looking at it, or gets a boner of his own, that should be sufficient.

I've heard that you can get a small room and guys leave their doors slightly open in different stages of excitement, etc. That sounds kinda voyeuristic/exhibitionistic and exciting.

Any one have any information about how things work?

killer · #2 3rd August 2006, 03:20 AM

There is very little talk in a bathhouse, it's all done with looks and touch. But, as in any cruising venue, there is a resident troll population. These are handled in the same way as anywhere else - ignore them, and when they become truly obnoxious, I find threats work really well. HA HA. In any case, don't be such a wuss. Go with the intent of enjoying yourself, and you will!

outdoorSlut · #3 3rd August 2006, 02:15 PM

Bath houses can be a great experience. It can be overwhelming but knowing what you will encounter and how to do deal with can overcome that.

Here are some of my observations:
All bath houses are different. Different setup, different places to play, different audiences at different times. And, sometimes what you want from the baths is different.

Don't be afraid to say what you're looking for. And what you're not looking for. Or at least indicate it - I'll shake my head "no" if I'm not interested. (If a guy grabs my cock or rubs my butt and I'm not interested, I stop his hand and shake my head "no".) If that doesn't work, sometimes you need to be firm -- "no, buddy, not interested... you're not my type... " whatever. Don't let the trolls ruin your experience.

I love getting a room and leaving the door open. If I'm stroking my cock, I'm looking for someone to suck it and/or ride it. If I'm laying on my stomach, I'm looking to suck and/or get fucked. Guys tap on the door and I can ask them in or decline. Sometimes, I want the door open, other times I don't.

If I'm cruising the rooms, I'll check out the guys doing what I am looking for - stroking or laying on their stomach.

Communication is important -- especially non-verbal. But sometimes guys don't get it and you gotta say "no..." or "don't cum in my mouth" or "use a condom".

Finally, bring your own... whatever you need. Condoms (most baths provide these, however), lube, poppers, whatever.

Have a great time. The exhibitionist part of the baths can be a real turn on!

d

Hey all you pitchers -- drop me a line...

ScruffyCub · #4 5th August 2006, 02:02 PM

My own experience with the baths (fairly limited, but by no means a novice) concurs with the above: you cannot avoid trolls, you cannot entirely find any means to avoid a few awkward situations.

This is part of cruising, no matter what the location.

The guy who JOKINGLY told you to stop being such a wuss is right on the money. It is totally up to YOU to handle yourself in whatever way you see fit.

Of course, it is always best to be POLITE. Piss off the wrong person and you can easily ruin the rest of your time there. Nasty queens... you know the deal.

No means NO. Simple.

I've found all sorts of rude and obnoxious men at the baths -- and lots of great guys, too.

Some dudes will walk right into your room without waiting for an invitation. Just shoo them away. I've seen dudes stalk the hallways and open every cracked door, flip on the light, check out the guy, then either walk away if they don't dig him or force themselves into the room. These guys are generally detested by all who are NOT like them.

But don't let this scare you. MOST men "get" the unspoken rules and behave like mature adults, understanding that sexual attraction varies and part of the fun is finding the right dude.

The standard line oft-used to tell someone to exit your room is: "Just resting right now, dude."

Doesn't matter if you're laying there with a hard dick. He'll get the gist of it.

When jerking off in public areas like the sauna or hot tub or whatever, you simply have to expect that you might get groped. You can easily brush someone's hand away if you don't want that. If you just want to watch, keep covered a bit. Some guys will NOT tolerate a lurker watching them. They either want you to participate or leave. You'll know what they think and can act accordingly. Most men having sex in the sauna don't mind being watched -- it is par for the course and sort of silly to get annoyed at other guys watching. If they wanted privacy, they can go to a room.

There's no magic answer -- you just have to learn the ropes and the specific signals that happen in YOUR local bath. Like someone else said, it is often different depending on the venue.

The advice I always give to anyone checking out a new location has remained unchanged: watch and observe and take mental notes as to what everyone else is doing. You'll find out what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

Specific200 · #5 6th August 2006, 01:58 AM

Scruffy. Nothing personal, but I still have you on block and cannot see your messages. Just a heads up. Again, nothing personal.

ScruffyCub · #6 13th August 2006, 05:49 PM

Then the dude misses out on some extra advice. Tough shit for him.

I don't keep a list of guys who have me blocked and it's not something I care to devote synapse space for storage.

"Nothing personal," though? That's funny. Clearly it is, but that's OK.

Some other guys will still benefit from the responses here, so whatever, dude.

I've never blocked anyone at CFS. How do you know the person has even replied? Does the name show in the list but you can't see the post?

outdoorSlut · #7 13th August 2006, 11:16 PM

Hey, Scruffy, you are right with your comments. I thought the "nothing personal" comment (twice) was a bit (okay, very) catty.

One things you mentioned in your earlier post:

Using the comment: "Just resting right now, dude." I've learned to stay away from this, because some guys just don't get it. (You did say "MOST men" get it...) It's those guys that don't - you see them an hour later and they are asking again.

Now, I just tell the guy that it's not a match or simply "no, thanks." If the guy tries again, I'm more blunt -- "get the hint, I'm not interested."

I like your comments about lurkers.

Another thing I want to add -- I've noticed a lot of fucked up guys lately. Fucked up meaning drugged up (and I don't mean weed). Now, I look pretty wasted sometimes myself but sex is my drug and I put a lot of energy into a hot session. But watch for the guys on something who either are too shit-faced to give a shit about what you like/need/want or are too wasted to play safe (if that's what you want).

Have fun...

ScruffyCub · #8 24th August 2006, 04:15 PM

^^^

I gotta admire your ability to be politely blunt to the guys who are not a sexual match.

Don't think I've ever just said "no, thanks" in a bathhouse, but probably only because it has been years since I've been inside one! I've said "no, thanks" many times in bookstores, though it usually isn't necessary. Again, MOST guys get the hint when I'm not interested, but you are right: there will ALWAYS be cruisers who push it to the limit.

Just part of the game.

Bring up a good point about the fucked up dudes, too. Haven't had too many encounters with them, but a few. Noticed one dude smoking up crack or something in a booth once. His fucking eyeballs were jiggling in his skull. Scary shit. I always avoid drunks simply because they are bad in bed!

HAVE been noticing a LOT of college-age guys hitting me up online and asking for crystal meth and shit like that.

This really freaks me out. I never realized that kids in school are doing heavy drugs like this. In my day, college meant a lot of booze and some grass. Now, these guys are asking if I have crystal meth. Yeah, OK. Once someone hits me up with that kind of shit, they are off my short list for sure.

Jakn4u · #9 2nd September 2006, 12:04 PM

All the above is good advice. I went to a bathhouse for the first time last year and had a lot of fun! Especially, for not knowing what to expect and how it all worked.
One problem I had and was probably my fault was in the steam room I sat on the bench without sitting on my towel and like the next day I had jock itch real bad.
Anyhow I think that is what it was. Itched and rash on my ass cheeks and around my butt hole and crotch. My towel was all wet from drying after shower and was walking around for a while with wet towel which made good for the fungus to thrive.
Anyhow, just take your time and cruise the area first and don't have to play with anyone your first time if you dont want too. Just have safe fun!