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Message Board > Announcements From and Your Feedback to CRUISING for SEX > Suggestions, Complaints, Comments   Boards slowly withering away here?

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  #1  
Old 30th July 2006, 02:30 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Boards slowly withering away here?

Seems like these boards are slowly withering away. I remember a few years ago when i first came here what a great source of info, j/o and advice this place was.

Was wondering why this is happening - is it a symptom of all internet based text services and boards? Is it the fear that cops are using this service to do local busts? I notice the sex listings area is practically dead as well.

Any thoughts on this?
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  #2  
Old 30th July 2006, 03:08 PM
ScruffyCub's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 400

This is typical in the summer months at CFS. It will start to pick up again when the weather turns cooler.

Right now, most guys are out actually cruising.

I have noticed that in states/regions where there is abundant cruising, very few guys post. For example, West Virginia rarely gets new posts. My hypothesis is that the because the state is PACKED with bookstores and the men are out every night of the week getting REAL action, they don't care to bother with trying to hunt something down online. Same for the Central/Western NY boards -- plenty of cruising action at the bookstores, why bother with CFS when you can get your dick sucked in ten minutes for a five dollar entry fee?

Of course, these are just the boards I look at personally, since I am familiar with the areas. I like to check out what's going on when I'm not there.

I'm really not one to criticize CFS, but I do wish the Sex Listings were updated with a little more regularity. I realize this isn't an easy task -- I'm sure there are thousands of new comments submitted every month and it must be tough to go through them all and get them online.

And, of course, we get back to the ancient complaint that pertains to ALL cruising and "sex now" sites -- men get frustrated with guys who post and don't respond or are just looking to get off via email conversations or whatever. The more guys bullshit like that, the less interested anyone becomes in trying to hook up with a message board post.

Understandable, and not the fault of CFS or any other site -- it's the assholes who play games, and NOTHING is going to put an end to that.

Thankfully for me, I've been connecting in real time with chat lately, as well as getting in touch with new buddies and refreshing connections with old ones. A bit of luck with actual cruising, too... but much safer to make online connections in my local area than to go out anywhere.

I've got at least half a dozen stories halfway started, but simply haven't had the time to publish them here. Work, sleep, sex, trying to go out and make the most of the summer months... Not a lot of time to sit and write. Even those of us who contribute often get busier in the summer...

Finally... I think you DO have a point. Many localities ARE, in fact, cracking down on cruising. Guys don't want to post locations for fear of having them shut down. Guys are afraid to post, thinking that seeking sex online is somehow going to get them into trouble (it won't, as long as it is adult to adult communication).

Can't tell you how many dudes I run into online who seem all eager at first and then totally chicken-out when it comes down to it. "Are you a cop?" they keep asking. "Is your place safe?" Some have said they are afraid they'll meet a basher and get their ass kicked.

Valid concerns, but some guys are just too paranoid for their own good. A bit of self-preservation and common sense is a great thing, but some take it to the point of panic and never allow themselves the chance to have a good time.
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  #3  
Old 31st July 2006, 02:14 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4

Glad its not just me noticing this paranoid craziness going on.

People seem freaked out more than ever.

And ive also noticed the flakiness factor seems to have soared lately. A friend of mine hypothesizes that it's the next younger generation coming up in an internet only world - lack of basic social skills and too much arrogance allowed by being able to hide on the internet.

Some of us (40 here) remember the days when you still had to have some basic people skills to meet guys.

Maybe im just getting old lol.

EDIT: Yeah - good point too - im not picking on CFS - hey this is one of the best original sites on the internet for gay/bi guys. Just wondering if what's happening here is happening everywhere.
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  #4  
Old 31st July 2006, 08:42 AM
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 103

First, I don't think the cops are running any stings here on the board. They have plenty of other things to do. Haven't you seen the headlines? Violent crime is soaring. Now if guys were on here looking for underage kids, then the cops would be all over it. But as long as we keep it to consenting adults, the cops don't really care what you do in private and aren't going to run any stings here. Don't you think we would have heard if they were? I've never seen one posting that said "watch out for xyz, he's a cop" or "I got busted by a cop who scammed me here on CFS". Anybody else heard such a story?

As to the board slowly dying. I think it is just a case of overload. There are way to many internet sites now for hooking up. CFS advertises many of them and, indeed, I think they own some of them. Just look at the top of this page.

Then again, there are a lot of guys even on the pay sites that talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. I belong to one of the pay sites that is advertised here and for every 10 guys that I talk to and they say "let's hookup sometime", I get 1 or 2 actual meetings. Of those 2, 90 percent are only one time meetings. I'v only come across 1 or 2 guys that have become a long term F/B.
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  #5  
Old 31st July 2006, 09:03 AM
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 103

Yeah, I really don't think it's about police stings either for the same reasons Indy just said.

These boards are pretty dead lately though, but I think it's because of all the real time hook up sites, and I use real time cautiously since we all know those can take forever and a day to plan a hook up as well.

That said I still prefer the real time paid sites because I can see pics and what they're into all at once and it's instant communication. I find that when I respond to an ad here, which I haven't done it some time, or on a site like Craigslist, it's just too much work and too many pic collectors.
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  #6  
Old 1st August 2006, 04:12 PM
ScruffyCub's Avatar
Cruiser
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 400

I suppose perhaps I should have been more specific.

I do not believe police place postings in local/state forums looking to entrap adult men who are seeking mutual sex. There is nothing illegal (anymore) about grown men having sex with each other.

But for SURE the police look at the Sex Listings here (and on EVERY site that lists public places where men go to have sex).

We all know outdoor cruising areas are constantly busted, shut down, turned around, closed up.

Many local authorities already KNOW the areas in question. However, because cruising sites are often ephemeral in nature, the cops look for new ones. When one of our favorite spots gets too hot for comfort, we go elsewhere. And the cops want to know about that.

If it wasn't at issue, why would CFS bother to post the disclaimer when entering the site?

Can't tell you how many postings I've noted where guys ask for an email to reveal a cruising local -- they don't want to post it online, and with good reason.

Heck, how many times also have we read RIGHT HERE that we've seen CFS splashed on the local news?

But having paranoid that "they're coming to take me away" just for posting a perfect legal message seeking sex with another man... No, that's not happening at all.

I'd love to believe that the cops have better things to do. But we've seen... what? Oh, the last six years that more and more of our favorite spots are gone, gone, gone...

If we're lucky, a bookstore has popped up to take its place. That's fine with me. Wish I had some here, but there's almost no outdoor cruising and no bookstores that are safe, either.

They leave the bathhouse alone, though.

I need to check it out again, I think.
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  #7  
Old 2nd August 2006, 06:24 AM
Cruiser
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 103

Scruff, you make some good points and perhaps I too should have been more specific.

When I say they have better things to do, I did indeed mean better things to do than lure consenting men into perfectly legal M2M sexual encounters.

But you are right in that I am sure they do monitor the "places" list to see what is going on in their jurisdiction. But of course, public sex is illegal and whether we like it or not, the general (straight) public, i.e. the voters, want the parks and mall bathrooms cleaned up and "safe" for their children. And while I was known to prowl those places before the introduction of the internet, I also have children. The last thing I wanted, as a parent, was my young kids walking into a restroom or through a park and witnessing two men going at it in the open. So for that reason, it is perfectly legitimate for the cops to monitor this board. And as I have said before, that little disclaimer at the beginning isn't worth the time and effort that was put in writing it. Cops can go anywhere the public can go and you can't put up a sign saying "everyone EXCEPT cops are invited to visit here". I'm not talking about private clubs (such as baths), but anywhere the public is free to come and go. As Sir Robert Peel said, "the police are the citizens and the citizens are the police".

Sometime we are our own worse enemies and bring some of the problems on ourselves.
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  #8  
Old 2nd August 2006, 02:35 PM
ScruffyCub's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 400

Agree with every word you wrote above.

The site disclaimer, for me at least, has always served as an indicator to US guys that we need to use caution and common sense here. I never thought for a moment that when I first joined CFS that some words on a screen could keep out anyone at all.

Will be very brief here and wrap this up on my end:

Recently met an ex-cop who is gay. Have had some fun together. He's shared many interesting stories with me concerning public sex and the reaction of law enforcement. Pretty much... it's just how we think: sometimes they leave us alone if we keep it cool and truly aren't exposing others to what's going on. But once we start being obnoxious -- they take action.

And I understand that. Think we all do.

My ex-cop buddy and I have discussed some of the fellow cruisers who frequent certain places, and how their blatant behavior puts everyone in jeopardy. Not much anyone can do about it.

Some guys never learn.
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  #9  
Old 6th August 2006, 12:52 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3
Lightbulb Wrong on all accounts

It's not summer, not fear. It's Craigslist. It's less cumbersome and pic friendly.

Craigslist has obliterated lots of other avenues for many things. The ad market for housing rentals is a good example. Craigslist is free and gets results.

Even for getting laid.
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  #10  
Old 10th August 2006, 08:03 AM
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Posts: 23
People are wising up

It's what happens in time with people. People get wise. My personal experience with using the Internet to get dick has landed me with a lot less dick than ever before. Meeting someone in public face to face will always be better than meeting someone on the Internet you cannot see.
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If you think gays, lesbians and bisexuals choose their sexual orientation, ask yourself when you chose yours. If you are heterosexual did you wake one morning and decide that you were going to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex? Did you decide that you would be attracted to the opposite sex? Did someone recruit you as a heterosexual? Gays, lesbians and bisexuals do not choose their orientation any more than do heterosexuals. Studies consistently demonstrate that the problems gays face are caused by the attitudes and behaviors of society at large, not by sexual orientation
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  #11  
Old 16th August 2006, 07:06 PM
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Posts: 23
all gone now

Well the great source of info shouldn't have been a great source of info for everyone in the world. That is what went wrong. The internet came along - the cruise sites went up - every single person in the entire world can read this site and others - secret cruise spots suddenly become WORLD WIDE public known- then BAM!! no more public cruise places and internet dates are a flat ZERO for me and my friends. They had it all figured out from the get go and guess what we can only blame ourselves for posting personal & secret info on the world wide web for all to see. Its all over.
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If you think gays, lesbians and bisexuals choose their sexual orientation, ask yourself when you chose yours. If you are heterosexual did you wake one morning and decide that you were going to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex? Did you decide that you would be attracted to the opposite sex? Did someone recruit you as a heterosexual? Gays, lesbians and bisexuals do not choose their orientation any more than do heterosexuals. Studies consistently demonstrate that the problems gays face are caused by the attitudes and behaviors of society at large, not by sexual orientation
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  #12  
Old 21st August 2006, 06:52 PM
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Posts: 899

I don't think sharing the knowledge with those who wanted it can be blamed for all the changes guys may be experiencing (or at least not as much as some might seem to believe). I've been doing this 10 years and I've watched daily reports coming in of hot sex popping up here and there. I've also read far too many reports of police arresting guys. Neither perpective, the tips for hot sex or the places to avoid, has changed one bit in those 10 years.

What has changed is the Internet itself and the way it alters how we meet. For a generation of guys, the Internet is their normal meeting ground. My partner, a very sexually active and curious younger guy, has never hooked up in a toilet and only recently met a guy in a park. He didn't find it necessary to go to parks or toilets for quick sex like I did when I was his age. On the other hand, get him online and he'll have a mini-orgy planned in 10 minutes.

Sex continues to flourish in public and not-so-public venues all over the world, both on the Internet and in the 'real' world. The cops might snuff out the action for a bit, but it comes back just like the bushes they prune to get rid of park sex will always grow back! To say, as "georgiaboy" does, "Its all over" seems way off the mark.

I realize most of us never want to share responsibility for what happens in the world in which we live, but those of us who cruise do have a burden unique to our sexual pleasure. Society considers what we do wrong and they have laws in place to enforce that view. I strongly disagree with those views, but they prevail in the USA (not so much in Canada any longer, and almost unheard of in most of the remainder of the Western world).

I've not exactly seen long threads here at the message board from guys fed up with how the cops abuse them or how politicians use them as political fodder at election time. The anger seems, oddly enough, to be aimed at sites like this one, rather than at those who actually make the laws and enforce them. When was the last time someone posted a message here about getting together to organize a letter writing campaign to stop police entrapment or to get a meeting arranged with local leaders to demand the repeal of anti-sex laws. We have a forum here for sexual politics and the last posting was in November, 2005!!!

Before we begin to blame this website, maybe we should look at the role we play in what we enjoy and what responsibilities we may have to each other and ourselves to change the way our society views consensual sex acts.
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  #13  
Old 23rd August 2006, 10:51 PM
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Posts: 23
Bar Talk: No dick these days.

I am not attacking your site. I expect you and others associated with this site to defend it. It is a money making web site and if it were my site I would defend it. But I would make it into something a bit more helpful to gay people. Anything other than what it is. I am stating the facts of what happens when people post somewhat semi private info, info that should only circulate within the LGBT communities. The fact and reality of that matter is what you see.. people bitching all over about getting no dick. Meeting less and less people. Gay people offline face to face talk against the Internet, this site and others. They simply hate it . Then on-line is a completely different story. I trust what I can see face to face.
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If you think gays, lesbians and bisexuals choose their sexual orientation, ask yourself when you chose yours. If you are heterosexual did you wake one morning and decide that you were going to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex? Did you decide that you would be attracted to the opposite sex? Did someone recruit you as a heterosexual? Gays, lesbians and bisexuals do not choose their orientation any more than do heterosexuals. Studies consistently demonstrate that the problems gays face are caused by the attitudes and behaviors of society at large, not by sexual orientation
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  #14  
Old 13th November 2006, 08:47 AM
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D85
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Posts: 5
Unhappy NYC / LI - Disenchanted cruisers

After reading this post on this forum, I realized that it is not me that is attributing to the lack of postings or enthusiasm in the NYC/ LI Forums, and that this appears to be the situation all over.
Many of the cruisers of the NYC/LI Forums have accused me for “butting in” on their postings when I have tried to contribute where it appears to be needed, after all if a cruiser has a question or concern and nobody else is answering, I do. If that is “butting in”, then call it “butting in” and that should NOT turn others off. As a fellow cruiser, I have seen that the market has become saturated with many other sites and therefore that has likely resulted in the lack of posts from many that did post when I first visited the CFS site in the late 1990’s.
As a Moderator, I do try to keep the Forums operating in a certain way without allowing others to take control and turn others off, but I am hopeful that those that have recently voiced their concern toward the lack of activity towards CFS will realize that it is NOT a perfect world and life often does not go how you would like it to go. Also you get out of something what you contribute.
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