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This came up last week in a review of The Country Club in New Orleans.

I'd meant to re-post it here sooner to get some discussion and opinions on the subject, but I'm slowly catching up. Part of this is also that people who want to respond to the general issue of gay or lesbian places becoming "trendy" and/or having more straight people should come here, since the page for The Country Club is meant to be for reviews of that specific space, not the larger picture.

So here's what was submitted on September 26 and edited and published by yours truly on October 1 along with some commentary:

It's a shame this place is no longer a clothing-optional gay hangout. The owners are now catering to heterosexuals with clothes and while the pool and hot tub areas are visually stimulating there is no longer any tolerance for having sex and being naked.

What a shame, but I guess profits rule! I bet the local GLBT community is disappointed in losing this place!

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The Country Club's blog indicates that the change in policy was required for them to keep their liquor license. Several other changes were also required by the City of New Orleans and the State of Lousiana.

The Information Page indicates there is a "Back Private Club" available with entry fees, towel rental, and locker rental. It isn't clear if the "proper attire" rule is applicable there. I haven't been to New Orleans personally since 2003 Southern Decadence, but the late Cruisemaster lived there several years before and after Katrina, eventually returning home to Georgia. If someone could verify the status of the "Back Private Club" and what happens there I'd appreciate it.

The reviews from 2012 onward are negative, but the Country Club's calendar still includes LGBT-oriented events such as drag dinners and brunches. We all know that many formerly gay venues or lesbian venues have closed or have opened up to a broader mix of patrons. In the Houston area where I live, the leather bars welcome not just gay or lesbian or LGBT clubs but also pansexual ones including, yes, straight people. This is happening in many cities and many types of LGBT venues. It is our new reality.

I don't have a stake in your local issues in the Big Easy, and being in my mid-50s I also miss the old days at times. I especially disagree with the anti-sexual people in many cities and states who use liquor laws as a pretext to prevent the sexual behavior they personally dislike.

Nonetheless, we who were once denied entry so many places cannot be the ones to reject people who are different from us, even if it means adjusting where, when, or how we have sex in public or semi-public spaces. I am not speaking of private clubs or events, including bathhouses or sexclubs, in this context. And also, if you Google "dogging," you'll discover that public sex is increasingly popular and publicized among straight people in the UK, many of them in woods or at beaches also used by gay men.

To quote what another reviewer today said in a different context, "We will always find a way to play." ~ Editor

Thinking further, it seems to me that NOLA may be becoming more restrictive than in the past in where and when and how the shall we call it "red light district" operates. My partner saw open cock-sucking on Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras years ago; he said that someone had had a liqueur poured into his foreskin and another guy sipped and drank and sucked. And of course, the display of breasts and sometimes genitalia is famous at the season.

We also saw public and semi-public sex acts at Southern Decadence when we went in 2005. Bourbon Street was not quite as flagrant and hard-core as, say, upstairs at The Phoenix. Same faces, different places, it was a bacchanal in motion. We didn't make it to the Rawhide, but again, the action there is said to be hot.

I'd mentioned Houston leather bars in my response to the reviewer. I've been to The Ripcord many times on club nights from different groups, sometimes where the clubs stage "demonstrations" of activities which do not involve nudity and comply with the liquor laws, but are more than suggestive in a leather/kink sense. Attendees may be gay, lesbian, bi, trans, straight, and on and on. There may be a few in drag, and there may be some pups, furries, and many other sorts. This is somewhat similar to what I used to at The Faultline in LA in the late 90s when I lived in California, except with greater diversity.

Essentially, our community values a sense that all are welcome with the understanding that it's important for each to accord others the same welcome, at least in the shared space, that everyone else accords you. It generally does not appeal to the "trendy," and sometimes I have to remind my partner not to make remarks under his breath.

I'd be remiss if I didn't also say that many are HIV+ and many are HIV-. Sometimes there is the issue of sex-shaming and HIV-shaming, and I would rather not see that proliferate. That's a separate discussion.

Side note: My partner is disabled and ill and a big part of his mind is focused on his "best days" in the late 1970s up to some time in the 1990s, even though he's been HIV+ since the test was first available. You all know what life for him and many others was like before that time and in the early years of HIV/AIDS, and now he's well into the "early-onset aging" symptoms. Particularly the cognitive impairment often takes him back to think of the good times and friends he's lost early on and even more recently.

In a very real sense, I deal with that issue of "this is not like it was before" and "this is not the old days" with him daily, sometimes hourly. It's gives one some something like a magnifying glass to examine the issue.

I could rattle on and on once I start writing, so I'll stop here. Your thoughts and comments are welcome.