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CRUISING for SEX - New Forums
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-   New York - Southern & Connecticut (http://web.cruisingforsex.com/bb/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   New Forums (http://web.cruisingforsex.com/bb/showthread.php?t=333250)

sluttycub 29th October 2008 12:15 PM

New Forums
 
I have to say that this new combined forum really sucks.

Most of Ct is well over an hour to southern New York, and for many of us it is closer to two or three hours. Why did this change happen? Why not just have the state by state forums as we did before?

The new redesign of the site only makes me visit and use it less, not more.

Sorry for the complaints.
:mad:

tv slut 29th October 2008 01:32 PM

You're not alone. And don't be sorry for the complaints. I don't remember being asked my opinion about combining areas. How much "electronic space" do they save by having less forums available? I'll probably end up deleting my bookmark for the site and using the other cruising sites.

Wishbone 29th October 2008 09:26 PM

New Forums
 
:mad: I agree this new location for Connecticut sucks. At least you would think they would have included us with the rest of New England! It's a shame, this used to be a pretty active forum and now I think it's going to die here. Does anyone know of any other good local message boards out there?

ij_reilly 31st October 2008 11:22 AM

******
 
Switch to ******.

This new setup is just plain stupid.

***********

ij_reilly 31st October 2008 11:25 AM

well that's nice too
 
S
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Keith 12th November 2008 09:41 AM

When I look at my map, if I live in New Milford, CT or Danbury, CT, or even New Haven, CT or Bridgeport, CT, places like Chappaqua, NY, Poughkeepsie, NY, or Newburgh, NY are geographically no further to me than places like New London, CT, or Norwich, CT. If I look at a map of population density for Connecticut, it seems that the bulk of the population lives closer to the border with New York than the border with Rhode Island. We didn't include Connecticut with New England because, at least to me, it would be a stretch to assume that someone in Maine wants to follow things in Connecticut. While we commonly see Connecticut as part of New England for historical and tourism purposes, my experience is that the state has far more in common with southern New York than it does with New Hampshire. Of course this is not an exact science, but the decision was made based on many unscientific processes including traffic patterns and, frankly, message board activity. Does a guy in Putnam, CT potentially suffer from this arrangement. Yes he does. But at the same time far more guys living in Greenwich, Stamford or Torrington are likely to benefit from it. I'm sorry if some of you think this is a wrong move on our part, but we think it is worth a shot. We have been wrong, of course, about lots of things over the 12 years we've been doing this but these kinds of things can be reversed if necessary. For now, I'm taking a wait and see attitude.

uncut69 13th November 2008 08:42 PM

well me for one.dont mind the new forum.just take some time and cruise.but i do understand the
frustration.just speaking for myself.oh and speaking
for myself.would love to see keith`s piece sticking
through a hole that im at.

tv slut 15th November 2008 01:43 PM

Based on the last 23 threads, only 4 of them appear to be from NY, all with 0 replies. So this new "system" appears to be a real hit with the NY people too!

Keith 15th November 2008 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tv slut (Post 665676)
Based on the last 23 threads, only 4 of them appear to be from NY, all with 0 replies. So this new "system" appears to be a real hit with the NY people too!

All the time and energy you spent counting threads and figuring out which of them came from the other side of the stateline could have been used more constructively responding to those very same threads, making those guys more likely to get involved with guys in CT.

tv slut 16th November 2008 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith (Post 665678)
All the time and energy you spent counting threads and figuring out which of them came from the other side of the stateline could have been used more constructively responding to those very same threads, making those guys more likely to get involved with guys in CT.

All that "time and energy" took about 30 seconds to use the pull down menu at the bottom to show threads from a certain time frame. And it was real easy to see which ones were from NY and had NO replies. And I believe my profile says I'm from SE CT. Which is a minimum of two hours away from NY and should be obvious as to why I didn't reply to those threads to try to get involved with them! I get plenty of activity from people a lot more local thanks to OTHER cruise sites where I can narrow down the area I want to post ads in and search in.

If you wanted to go to a new restaurant near where you live, would you like the search to give you results of places over 100 miles away?

Wishbone 17th November 2008 02:49 AM

New Forums
 
Keith, What might be nice, is to still have a separate link for each state so that the less geographically minded can be directed to their proper forum.;)

sluttycub 24th November 2008 02:31 PM

If you look at a map from some place far away, with no knowledge of how the state works, your assumptions might be correct. I live in central Ct and New York is 2 hours away, Boston 2 hours away, Springfield 1 hour away, Brattleboro Vermont - under two hours.

The highway system in Ct is so overcrowded that going across the border to southern NY during any commuter time adds at least 45 minutes to that trip.

New England is a huge area geographically and combining it together makes little sense. No one in Northern Vermont, New Hampshire or Down East Maine is going to be looking at southern New England as a viable hunting grounds for hookups. You have California split up into different areas for just that reason. No one in San Francisco is going to drive to LA for a hummer, the same applies to someone from Bar Harbor driving to Boston for the same thing.

I suggest that you combined the forums in a hope to make them all appear busier. More states combined should equate to more traffic on each forum, making it seem like there is more activity than there really is.

There are lots of things you could do to make the sight busier and perhaps making the sight easier to navigate, more user friendly, and responding to your target audiences concerns would do the trick.

Telling TV Slut how to better use her time borders on the rude. If she wants to track the posts and their responses or lack thereof, more power to her. You have proof she is reading all the posts.

The new format has kept me from using the sight in a long time, and continues to be a fustration. Craig's list, and other sites allow users to pinpoint exactly where they want to search, post, etc. Why can't CFS adopt that kind of approach?

Keith 24th November 2008 03:34 PM

Spilling my guts with respect!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sluttycub (Post 665957)
New England is a huge area geographically and combining it together makes little sense. No one in Northern Vermont, New Hampshire or Down East Maine is going to be looking at southern New England as a viable hunting grounds for hookups. You have California split up into different areas for just that reason. No one in San Francisco is going to drive to LA for a hummer, the same applies to someone from Bar Harbor driving to Boston for the same thing.

I've lived in New England and when I did, on more than one occasion I was more than willing to cross state lines to get some. The comparison between New England and Northern and Southern California (I've lived in both those places, too) just doesn't hold up for me. It takes about 7 hours to get from SF to LA, driving fast and with little traffic (like that happens often!). In 7 hours I can get from Provincetown to Montreal, allowing me to cross over a great deal of New England on my way to another country.

Again, speaking as someone who has lived in San Francisco and San Diego, and also Provincetown, when I lived in San Francisco it was a very narrowly defined world. No one would think of heading to Fresno to get some. In San Diego no one would think of going to LA to get laid because the traffic is bad and the mindset of each city tends to look down on the other. On the other hand, my impression of many New Englanders was that going from Provincetown to Providence to Boston to Portsmouth was not a huge stretch. It might not happen weekly, but for the right guy it did -- and does.

Those who have pointed out they weren't consulted are right: we did this based on traffic patterns -- both real traffic/commuting on a highway and also web traffic within any given forum. The Connecticut forum is popular, while the southern New York forum is lonely. Also, as I stated earlier in this thread, a person who lives in the heavily populated portions of southern and western Connecticut are often commuting into NY to work or play. Or at the very least, the populations on both sides of each state line are larger when combined, thus increasing the odds of finding the right trick if you look just a bit beyond your state.

We've asked for advice on many topics over the years and about the only time we ever get anything out of anyone (with a few individuals being a blessed exception) is in the form of criticism. For example, this thread is longer than any positive, constructive advice I got when I recently asked how to improve our sex listings. For that, we got a total of 3 comments and that took weeks to get just 3 comments.

It isn't that we don't appreciate being told when we're wrong, or to receive suggestions on how to make it better. But sometimes you think, my god this person is taking this -- whatever this may be -- just a little too seriously. I mean if a guy is looking at our boards and wants to get sex in Connecticut, he'll figure out that just because we've combined southern NY with his state doesn't necessitate that he cross a state line, though it does open up some potential from some hot and horned up New Yorkers. It is not, however, the end of the world nor a reason to put us down with petty comments.

I know that TV Slut isn't going to like this format. I acknowledged in a previous posting to this thread that our point was to make the forum work more for those who lived in the more heavily populated areas of Connecticut. TV Slut lives in a small town near Rhode Island so regretably this isn't that advantagous for him. Maybe combining Rhode Island with Connecticut would have been more appealing to TV Slut, but then Greenwich Slut (just a made up name!) might be the one protesting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sluttycub (Post 665957)
The new format has kept me from using the sight in a long time, and continues to be a fustration. Craig's list, and other sites allow users to pinpoint exactly where they want to search, post, etc. Why can't CFS adopt that kind of approach?

I'll give you an example of why you sometimes have to weigh the comments against what you know to be true. Recently I had a guy write me about how he stopped using us because our moderator was heavy-handed. His solution: to extoll how great Craig's List was. Of course I know, from using CL myself, that the notion of moderation with a heavy hand is alive and well over there. Absolutely any anonymous individual can flag any ad without explanation. Try getting the owner of CL to respond personally. On the other hand, I value the men (and the few women) who come here and I try and make sure we always listen and when appropriate, respond. That doesn't mean we can always make changes to acccomodate every point of view, though sometimes we do. But often when we make changes sugggested by others, somebody else tells you how you've destroyed this or that with one move you made at the suggestion of another. Sometimes there just is no way to please everyone.

I didn't mean to offend TV Slut, but I confess that his comments just struck me as not especially helpful. My reply wasn't helpful either and I'm sorry, but sometimes you just get tired of being told how wrong you've done this or that with virtually no applause for something you might have done right over the last 12 years of keeping this site online.

sluttycub, I am sincere in telling you I appreciate your thoughts. You didn't have to take the time to write this and it shows you value this community. For now, we need to give this some more time to see if it works. I'm still weighing this and nothing is final.

Thanks,
Keith

jimk222 25th November 2008 05:26 AM

i agree. connecticut is not an appendage of new york--no matter how hard we try to be.

sluttycub 25th November 2008 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith (Post 665959)
" On the other hand, my impression of many New Englanders was that going from Provincetown to Providence to Boston to Portsmouth was not a huge stretch. It might not happen weekly, but for the right guy it did -- and does."

"Those who have pointed out they weren't consulted are right: we did this based on traffic patterns -- both real traffic/commuting on a highway and also web traffic within any given forum. The Connecticut forum is popular, while the southern New York forum is lonely."
Keith


Thanks for your response Keith, I am not against change in general, and I am usually more than willing to go along with the new. I had not been on the site for a couple of weeks and when I logged back in, I couldn't find my message board, and when I did, I was disconcerted.

Perhaps there is a way to create message boards for larger geographical regions, New England, The Tri-state area, The four corners, etc... for folks that are willing to travel to play, and individual state message boards for those not so inclined.

Many of the men I have met through CFS are "finding" time to play in a busy work schedule, many are married, or are otherwise "entangled" and are looking for NSA playtime that can be covered up with excuses of errands, traffic, working late, etc. The single guys, with the freedom to play where and how they want do not seem to be well represented here. Perhaps there is some stigma attached to using this site for them, or maybe they are more likely to use a "dating" site with the idea they may meet someone special.

Finally, I do understand the frustration you must feel. I am the president of a large gay men's group and no matter how many times I ask for ideas the response is disheartening, but the criticism that comes with change is huge and sometimes violent. I suspect you have rather broad shoulders and normally this stuff rolls off your back but we all reach our breaking point.

Please keep an open mind on making more changes to either reverse this new format or to tweak it to be more accomdating.

Thanks for your efforts, Happy Hunting


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