[suedehead]

Hey guys, I know when it comes to cuming, most people would complain about cuming too soon. But I'm bothered by the fact that my boyfriend can cum within minutes of my playing with him, but he has to work on me usually for like 10 or 15 minutes before i cum, (though usually i shoot alot and shoot far). He hasn't said he minds, but i'd like to cum sooner. Strange thing is, i can stay hard all the time, so it's no erectile dysfunction (i think). I'm in my mid 30s, so i'm wondering if this is what happens when you pass 30. I kinda hope it's not. Any ideas/suggestions on cuming sooner or thoughts regardless?

[GringoBi]

Trust me it's definately not something that happens after you turn 30.
Mid 40's here and I can still cum as fast as I could at 20(which is way too fast for my liking).
On the rare(very rare) occasions that it takes a long time for me to cum I usualy put an image into my head that normaly gets me going, like a fantasy, and that helps a bit.
One thing for certain though, I sure would like the ability to last longer a lot more.

[ScruffyCub]

Looking brings up a good point in that we sometimes "train" ourselves in our youth to cum quickly -- or that we simply CAN cum quickly and then be ready to cum again soon after. I suppose from an evolutionary point of view, this would be beneficial since we could spread more seed faster.

Later in life, we often focus on the pleasure involved in GETTING there rather than just getting off. Look, I don't want to insult anyone, but I think there's a degree of sexual maturity needed in order to prolong the pleasure and enjoy focusing on your partner's needs as well as your own.

Clearly, we are not always in a position to do this, most especially when we're messing around in a "public" cruising venue. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with a quickie at all. Even I enjoy quickies from time to time, though I am certain that if I ONLY had quickies EVERY time, I'd be one frustrated and unhappy man. Since I know I am capable of much more, a quickie is a good way to find satisfaction and release with little hassle or obligation. This is not to say that lengthy sex is a hassle, it's just that it isn't always possible.

You are not experiencing erectile dysfunction; ED is related to an inability to get hard or maintain an erection. It also doesn't really sound like you are experiencing premature ejaculation; PE tends to happen MUCH quicker than ten or fifteen minutes into sex. Ten or fifteen minutes can be somewhat considered "normal," actually.

Your partner, on the other hand, may have a problem. It's impossible to be clinically certain that what is happening with him is PE, but honestly... it seems a BIT premature, if you ask me.

Instead of focusing on YOU cumming SOONER, why don't you try working with your partner to get him to cum LATER? For starters, you're only talking about maybe an extra ten or twelve minutes. If you're concerned about being able to enjoy a quickie yourself, it sure sounds to me like you are already able to do that. Your partner is popping off MUCH faster than a "standard" quickie, if such a thing exists.

I'm not going to tell you how your sex life SHOULD be, but I can say that you should at least be glad you aren't having to please a female. Not too many women would be satisfied with ten or fifteen minutes, man...

I guess if this is all you need and all you want, then you should do what makes you happy. But I think it would beneficial to work with your partner toward the goal of increasing HIS time in the field.

I'll happily admit to a personal bias here -- some folks on these boards know I can go a LONG time. To be honest, this isn't always a benefit: for guys who can't suck dick for half an hour, I may be of little use to them. The vast majority won't get me off any sooner than that. If I had my way, I'd make EVERY sexual experience last for hours and hours and hours. But again, this isn't always possible, isn't always logical, isn't always practical. So I've learned to let go earlier, say half an hour up to two hours or any time in between. This seems to work well for me and for the other guys involved. Yet every now and then, if put into a situation where brevity is REQUIRED, more often than not I can make that happen, too.

If you want suggestions as to how to work with your partner to make him last longer, we can talk about that later.

Sorry I don't have any answers as to how you can speed up your own time, except maybe to pretend you are in a dangerous situation where it would be necessary to do so. Or just go ahead and jerk off on your own when your partner is ready to cum. I'd imagine you (like most of us), can get yourself off rather quickly. But I did want you to know that you are pretty much within "normal" range, here. I personally think it would be a mistake to try to go faster when there is nothing wrong with your ability as it is.

And I'll go out on a limb and say that I'll bet you and your partner will LOVE longer lasting sexual encounters when you have the time for them. There's something called Tantric sex -- go Google it. This isn't for everyone, and it isn't something that can be learned in a week, but the THEORY and the ideas behind it might be helpful to understand, at least as a good starting point.

[GayWhiteTrash]

Scruff, I think it's safe to say most guys reading this are glad they don't have to please a woman. Be it ten or fifteen minutes or ten or fifteen seconds!

[ScruffyCub]

You'd think so, at any rate, yet it sure seems like the posts which get the most number of hits on this site all have something to do with bisexuality...

[SamAdams]

I can cum in just a couple minutes if jacking off or if getting jacked by a guy. And I used to cum pretty quick when younger fucking. But now at 52, it takes me a long time to cum if fucking a man or my wife. And trust me, women don't want/need to be fucked for more than 10-15 minutes. My wife will cum twice in 12 minutes (yeah, I;ve timed it), but I still need more stimulation. She has learned that to get me off, she must tweak my nipples. So the typical scenario is a couple minutes of foreplay, I fuck her till she cums twice, then she works my nips till I cum. Total time expended, about 15 minutes. Don't believe all those Cosmo articles about how women need long workouts to feel fulfilled.

[SamAdams]

Yeah, I'm still burried in her pussy. That's the way it works about 99 % of the time. The other 1% I'm jacking myself off as she works the nips. Keep in mind, she has no idea I'm bi. I've wanted to fuck her ass for years, but she'll have nothing to do with it