Should I pay the boy - as well
 

Advice sought please. If I take a regular Off on holiday (in Thailand or abroad), and of course pay all expenses; or maybe to a concert in Bkk like the Clash concert next week, do you think I should also pay him as normal? I'm not talking about any off fee to the bar which I know is expected, but to the Boy himself. What do you do?

Yes, of course you should pay the boy.

Thanks Icon
 

When I take a Boy off I usually expect them to stay the night with me and pay 2000Baht or more if they particularly merit. This however is for one night in isolation. Do you, or others, reduce the per diem for consecutive nights? Would you still pay the full amount to the Boy whilst also funding such activities as a PADI Diving or windsurfing course for example?
I do hope I'm not coming across as a skinflint - which I hope I am not, as I have in the past always paid Boys the full amount in addition to such things. However I would like to call on the experience of the board members to to judge wether I'm being over generous or paying in line with expectations.

If there is a longer-term discussed and agreed arrangement, e.g. a monthly allowance, the extra money for school, winding surfing lessons, going to a concert, etc., is just that; EXTRA!.

The same applies to the situation you seem to be describing (a short-term off for a few days, or perhaps a couple of weeks).

Please always keep one thing in mind. 99% of the boys working in bars are there for ulimately for one reason, to make some money to send home to parents, to keep their younger brother/sister in schoo, etc., and not there for the chance to go a dinner, go to a concert, etc.

You also asked if oters reduce the daily tip if it's a longer term arrangement. My guess is that many would do this, but can I suggest that you discuss all of this up front, and don't be embarrassed to do just that. The truth is that most boys won't raise the subject, mostly because it would be culturally rude for them to do that, but they would all appeciate knowing what the deal is. And if it's not to their liking it's better for you to know this quickly.

Further, the last thing you need is to not discuss it, and at the end of the 'engagement' hand over some money only to be confronted with a request for more. This would certainly be an unpleasant jolt to your perceived 'week in paradise'.

For a longer-term engagement, I'd probably offer 1K to 1.5K a day, but I'd discuss it first. PADI training, windsurfing, etc. are above and irrelevant. You can't send a PADI course back to Mom and Dad on the farm.

Thanks Scoops and Icon for your well reasoned replies - guess I've been doing it right then!

Repeated in error - sorry, haven't got the hang of this yet!

Don't worry...if you hadn't been doing it right, your boy would have let you know by now!

Yes, I'm sure he would
 

if I'd been underpaying..............
but if I'd been overpaying!?

Ah, indeed.

If you are the boy and I buy you meals and take you to a concert and not paying any tip would you mind? Please respect!

I've found that if a boy considers himself to be "first wife" with a regular on-going arrangment, then a monthly payment of Bt 15K to Bt 20K (over and above holidays, courses, clothes, meals, gifts etc etc) is expected. Just like a wife really ... pheng maak! :)

Depends on guy you go with, if you offer him to go with you and he might off from work, I think might be pay for him and if he is money boy. But if he interested to go with you then might ok to company him only...

But all of this might be commitment of you and boy together. Not all of guys get money and send to family like mostly think. They got money and for themselves for fashion, mobile, drink..... but someone send to the family.

If you don't have problem about money, you can pay for him but careful if he got money from you to get drug too. what do you think?

-- Ha! Ha!! :rolleyes: Just like my 24YO. 'Tee rak.' - even others in his neighborhood look-on him like that and accept our relationsip quite matter-of-factly.
- But, in his case, I've made it clear - I hope? - that while I'm not unhappy to pay the full share of certain expenses such as the monthly rent of his acc'n. and so on, yet he should pay some share of his own & pers. expenses such as his cell-'phone's. bill - a face pulled-at that - ha! 'But he who pays the piper ... .'.
-- Bibi. --