Okay. This is my response.

First, you assume correctly, Mercury. I am not bongo. The Sun issue about multiple identities? I don't really care anymore. I doubt that anyone else does either. Whether it is a case of multiple identities or a genuine collective group of separate individuals, I do not share the values that they support and encourage.

Poltically, I find the "mainstream" argument archaic. It reminds me of the breed of ANTI-women's libbers who claimed that if women had just stayed in the kitchen instead of joining the work force, we wouldn't have so many divorces or children with problems. First, economically most families cannot afford to have one person working while the other stays at home anymore. Children are smarter and more aware than previous generations that simply did as they were told. They question authority, and they have seen that many authority figures are not what they are cracked up to be. Many teenagers have to start working (even in middle-class homes) while they are still in high school. Many of the problems experienced in straight families have NOTHING to do with breaking with the traditional mainstream roles that were believed to work so well for Americans. The problems are often about economics and a lack of effective attunement to the real needs of the individuals involved. Preaching traditional values to people in these situations doesn't address the conflicts inherent in people who feel stifled and trapped due to economic pressures and middle-class role expectations.

The same principles apply to the Gay community today. Trying to tell Gays to put on a smiley "STRAIGHT MASK" in order to win friends and influence people implies a class system of acceptable behavior. Gay is bad. Straight is good. If you want to be with the "IN" crowd, act and dress like them. Don't make waves. Be glad to be part of the clique instead of the scapegoat everyone picks on in the schoolyard. This argument is the same rationale that THIRD-GRADERS use in order to fit in at the elementary school level. Is that where we are at these days in Gay culture? Has a return to "peer pressure" rationalizations taken over adult individuality and diversity?

Under all the smiles and "play nice" talk, there is a very nasty tone to your arguments, Mercury. Each line of your arguments dismisses Gays who don't play by the IN-groups' rules. What about Gays who don't like suburbia or monogamy or any of the other list of qualifications that you mention in order to make the grade with mainstream heterosexual American? Are they just discards now? Funny. Those "discards" that you suggest give us such a bad rep are the very folks that broke down barriers so that uptight queers like you could have a place like this to speak out.

I don't buy the "civil" crap you are throwing out in the name of intelligent discussions. Ditto for the polite bit about Gays learning to be good little boys just like their Straight buds. There is a very nasty undercurrent to the "love" that you claim to be sending. It dismisses and insults a lot of people who don't "blend" the way that you think they should.

By the way, I consider any comparisons to bongo a compliment. That goes for Swallow as well. Those are at least TWO guys who post at CFS with a political bite that I value.

[This message has been edited by Jake2001 (edited April 07, 2001).]