** Do Not Read These Self Mumbling Nonsense **
Got a call last night from BC. I think most people know if they clicked somehow. When he asked to exchange phone numbers last week after fuckiing me silly, we did. The only question was who will call first or what kind of relationship will we have?
To me, I now know he was inexperienced like he said before and I was sarcastic in reply. It's a good feeling to know that he did not fool around and fucked everything he can get.
A long while ago, I had sex with a very experienced guy who also wanted to develop a kind of relationship with me before. The first time he fucked me was very good. He knew all the moves and was dominating in bed. The 2nd time, the feeling was not the same. I was uncomfortable when he fucked me in some positions and my saying "arrrgg, take it easy mate" should have told him something was wrong. He never asked why and he kept pounding away. Can you believe that guy ? Down there our lower ends were pounding into each other for sex and up here our faces were inches away yet he ignored my groans of discomfort. At this stage, I began to feel like a fuck toy to him. He was too rough and uncaring. When he wanted a relationship, I was afraid he was only looking for a sex slave or something. I purposely gave him a slightly changed number. I avoided him totally after that.
BC wanted to meet for a drink. Of course after that will be sex. But the strange thing is how do we get down to talk about a relationship? My first relationship was easy to get started because my ex-bf planned everything and I just followed. He was a natural leader kind of guy. BC is different. He probably did not even think of a relationship with me. He is inexperienced to know that you don't fuck the same guy so many times unless you like more than just sex with him.
He is caring during sex. If I groaned of any discomfort, he would ask where and how he should be fucking me. The foreplay and caressings were tender. He kissed good and I can feel the heat of his passion. When having sex as strangers, this kind of mutual respects makes one feel good.
I want a relationship with him but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to take the lead. But if there is no relationship, then there are so many things we will not be able to talk about. Our families, our younger days, girls in school, planning weekends together... These things are fun to talk about with a bf and not feel like one is expecting too much.
Best of all, I really hate having to keep on looking for a good top after another for sex. It's so troublesome that I prefer to get oral sex or just be the top instead. We can plan on regular sex.
Unlike with girls where one can use engagement rings or some ceremony or introductions to close friends to declare a relationship, how do 2 big men have a relationship?
With my first bf, we did the conventional thing. I offered him my virgin ass and we discussed and planned the consummation with a dinner and a hotel suite. The bond after that was special because of it.
Of course my ass is no more virgin now and he had already pounded me twice. Maybe this time I should not expect too much. Just let him fuck when and how he likes it and enjoy it while I can?
Sorry to bore you guys. I have no one to tell these things to and I am only mumbling in my mind.
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