In my worst ER days, about the closest I ever came to one of these fantasies would have been the guy who tried to circumcise himself. He made the cut (in the right place, I might add), and then pulled. The wrong way.
You will never convince me that anyone has ever split his dick down the middle for enjoyment. Uh Uh. You have to be beyond schizophrenic to pull one like that.
(The urologist let me put a few sutures in! When I saw the needle for the anesthetic, I very happily allowed him to do those honors)
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