You've asked an honest question which deserves an honest answer.

Yes, you can play with someone who is HIV positive and stay HIV negative yourself. To remain safe and HIV negative, you must first carefully assess any risk you might have which could possibly expose you to acquiring the HIV from somebody who is HIV positive. You've probably heard the expression ... "to thine own self always remain true ...." In the context of assessing any risk you might have which could possibly expose you to acquiring the HIV from someone who is HIV positive, You must be completely honest with yourself in making that risk assessment. Nobody else can make that risk assessment for you. Once you have made that risk assessment, you are faced with having to make a judgment that only you can make. After all, it will be you who will have to live with the consequences of having made that judgment.

Should you perform oral sex on a HIV positive guy without him using a condom? There is always a risk the condom could break or rupture during the course of performing oral sex on him. You might be exposed to the risk of acquiring the HIV from him if his semen should enter your blood stream via an avenue of opportunity such as an open sore in your mouth or throat. For example, you might have had a recent tooth extraction which could be an avenue of opportunity for the HIV to enter your blood stream. Another example would be the flossing of teeth whereby the gums bleed due to diseased gum tissue. I would also point out that some people will argue there is little or no risk of acquiring the HIV from oral sex. Those who have made that argument can only make that argument for themselves and nobody else. My point here is that You must assess your own risks because it is you that must live with the consequences of having made certain judgments about your risks. I would like to tell you that performing oral sex on someone with HIV is without risk. I cannot do that simply because I don't know what risks, if any, you might be exposed to in any sexual encounter with someone who is HIV positive. I could also speak about anal intercourse, with or without the use of condoms, and I still would not know what your risk of HIV infection might be. Again, and to reemphasize my point, you must make that risk assessment for yourself because only you will have to live with the consequences of having made certain judgments about your risks.

To remain HIV negative, the judgment you use in assessing your risks for HIV exposure will have consequences. Only you can make the judgment in assessing your own risks for it is you that must live the consequences of having made certain judgments about your risks. You can listen to the arguments made by others, but those arguments are made independently from your own risk assessment.

With your health and life at stake, who is in the best position to assess your risks and make certain judgments about those risks which could expose you to acquiring HIV from someone who is HIV positive?

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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

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