-but let's be honest...the epitome of physical beauty and sexual attractiveness is reached in your 20's. It's only natural to want someone sexually when they are of that age. Unfortunately we don't live in Xanadu and our bodies change. You can't blame an older guy for lusting after a young, hot dude so the problem is really only in asking that the older guys like me learn to gracefully accept that the prime of our physical beauty is past and to respectfully behave when seeking partners. I just got back from the gym and steam afterwards. There were 2 middle-aged guys in the steam, both morbidly obese, both totally naked with their legs spread as if they were displaying something to be proud of. It was frankly disgusting and sadly pathetic that they were so blind to their unattractiveness as to "proudly" display it to the uninterested. I agree that too many "older" guys are rude, persistently pushy and totally oblivious to subtle "not interested" signals. Now, on the other hand there were several guys on the workout floor in their 40's and 50's who were fit and very attractive. It's hard work to stay in shape past your 30's but by golly they were proof that it's possible! And these guys weren't leering at the rest of the crowd like some hungry hawk. Meanwhile the fat slobs in the steamroom had attitudes like they were the Prime Rib on the menu! Unfortunately some of us seek sex in venues that attract these types that let themselves go but still think sex with them is a privelege.
There's several lessons for all in this scenario created by the original poster;
1) if you're old and fat you're gonna get less sex, it's a fact of life so don't put the guilt on those who don't want you. Fix yourself up, change your attitude and politely respect that no matter what you look like, not everyone is not going to want you.
2) accept that as a Gay man, if you want to be sexually attractive it's going to take some extra work to keep yourself marketable. Don't delude yourself by thinking that just because you're old and fat that membership in the Chubby Chaser club is going to skyrocket for your pleasure.
3) accept that yes, when you're young and hot lots of people of all ages are going to want you. You can't stop the fat old guys from looking at you. Just try not to hurt their feelings when you turn them down. They were once young and hot too and in that little corner of all us older guys' heads there's that lingering reality that we still are. Just wait, you'll find out what I'm talking about
4) Youth is a fleeting gift. It's hard to recognize that fact when you're in the midst of your prime, but please try to remember that it is just that. One day, those lyrics from "Memories" ("Cats") will mean so much..."I was beautiful then..."
5) Aging is its own gift. With it comes the fact that many things of youth must be left behind...a painful task, but on the other hand many things -even greater things more valuable than youthful beauty are just developing. Learn to embrace them and you will always be vital and attractive in your own special way.
6) Just being alive is remarkable and precious. All my dead friends would agree I'm sure. A day without sex still beats one six feet under.
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