Holy shit.

A lot of these responses are based on assumption. Sometimes this is simply fun to do -- to speak hypothetically when taking small bits of information from a single post -- and sometimes it can lead to outrageous presumption.

The guy said he weighs two hundred pounds. He said he is "husky." We don't know how tall he is -- and frankly, this doesn't even matter. Body TYPE is much more important when determining proportion. I guess it's a shame we don't post our online ads and list our body types along with all those meaningless "stats." Endomorph, ectomorph or mesomorph? Yeah, well... not a lot of guys will recall those classifications from sophomore year biology.

It is therefore a great leap to call this guy "fat" or discuss the American obesity epidemic or recommend chubby chaser Yahoo groups. The fact is: we have no idea what the dude looks like.

There are plenty of folks out there who are attracted to a wide variety of different characteristics. Just because we might have our own preferences doesn't mean that everyone else out there shares them.

This little tirade about getting fit and lecturing about being overweight and ridiculing fat men who show their dicks in saunas (don't ever go to the Netherlands, dude) is MUCH more the problem than guys who are mature or guys who have a few pounds on them. I can't stand it when someone pushes their own subjective ideals as mandate. Kind of like George Bush does.

If you are a vegetarian, odds are good you won't be headed to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse with a group of friends. You'd be wise to reject any such invitation. And should you ever accept anyway, it would be grossly inappropriate to sit down at the table and discuss your personal preferences for broccoli and cabbage while your friends are trying to enjoy their very expensive dinner.

I've seen enough headless photos of men online who have well defined bodies but when meeting them in person discover that their faces look like something which may have crawled out of a cave near Yucca Flats after the bomb was exploded. For all their hard work and effort in the gym, their unattractive face kills all sexual attraction for me. I'd MUCH rather have a guy who can enjoy a few Ring Dings now and then and has a face I find appealing. Being "fit" and "in-shape" can only take you so far.

And yet I can accept and understand that there are men out there who might be very much attracted to the same face I find unappealing. Good for them! Live and let live.

Personal health and well-being and the pursuit of longevity are another issue entirely -- but still remain a personal decision. The problem is that we often associate ripped abs with the epitome of health. This is simply untrue. It has been proved, in fact, that people who are a bit overweight can sometimes be even more "healthy" overall than those who are in peak condition. Body development is NOT an indicator of good health. Ever see one of those joggers who may have a six pack but at the same time looks emaciated and sickly. Usually this guy is running in the pouring rain, so obsessed with his regimen that he can't take an afternoon off. I swear to god this is true: I saw a man and a woman jogging in one of the HURRICANES this summer. If you can't take a day off from your routine during a fucking hurricane, something is fucking wrong with you. Sometimes a young collegiate athlete will collapse on the field and DIE. It's rare, but we've heard the stories. Usually one or two every year.

As far as age is concerned... Treat Williams is about sixty years old, and I'd have NO problem fucking around with him.

It's a matter of perspective. There are NO absolutes here. To suggest otherwise is indicative of a very narrow and stereotypical point of view.

Yet stereotypes and stereotypical attitudes are rooted in TRUTH, at least somewhere along the line. So it would be unfair to suggest that there is no veracity whatsoever to some of this.

MANY younger men are not interested in older men. As we get older, we need to keep this in mind and not take it personally. There ARE some younger men who are into older men -- I've run into a few who say I am too young! Oh, well... that's life.

Many "fit" guys want to be with other "fit" guys. Yet some men are interested in a much wider variety of other men. They like to sample from the buffet. It's cool either way. Seek out that which appeals to you and pass over that which does not. I won't take a scoop of steamed cauliflower from the steam tray at Golden Corral (the poor man's answer to Ruth's Chris), but I will certainly try some spinach or broccoli. What's wrong with that?

Being rejected is part of cruising. How many times have we had THAT discussion (still waiting to exchange meatloaf recipes here)?

My own sexual attraction is based on the individual. I know what I like when I see it. I've had men talk to me online and describe themselves before I see a photo. Most times I am completely unable to determine attraction based on a written description. Some guys ultimate send a picture and I find that a description they have provided doesn't do them justice: I am very much attracted to them. Other times, the opposite is equally true: their description seemed over-reaching at best. One of the "Yucca Flats" faces again. Darn.

The best advice is to not EXPECT anything at all. If you constantly walk around moping and feeling rejected before you are ever actually turned down, you're going to project an unappealing presence -- and you're going to be miserable far more often than necessary.

There is no way to know what is going on in the mind of a guy who rejects or accepts you. Many of us will accept certain kinds of sex from certain kinds of guys, but if we want something specific, we may seek out a specific type to meet that need and the associated criteria. For example, lots of us will LET a wider variety of men suck our dicks but when it comes to sucking someone else, we are a bit more selective. This is just how it is.

For about a year, I noticed a young dude, twenty-five years old, who often came into local chats. His photo was appealing to me: a good looking, masculine, kind of meaty, stocky kid. But I don't send messages to everyone in chat until I find a partner. I leave everyone alone and if a guy is interested, he usually seeks me out. I got a vibe from the guy's photo and profile that seemed to indicate that I would not be someone he'd be into. A few weeks ago, he initiated a conversation with these words: "Damn, dude. You are fucking beautiful." Oh. Wow. I had not expected that. I sure don't think I'm "beautiful." I'm OK, but that was a heavy-duty compliment. I want to meet up with this guy, but we haven't had mutual free time yet. The point is... I would have thought he wouldn't be into me at all -- and as it turns out, I am EXACTLY the type of guy that turns him on most.

Expect nothing -- and expect the unexpected, too.

I'm all for being healthy and living a long life, and have plans and goals of my own for doing just that: quit smoking, lose another ten pounds, keep up with my nightly workouts that I just started, try to avoid going to Long John Silver's, that sort of thing. But I haven't had a cold or flu in TEN YEARS. Ten years as of last month, in fact. I remember because the last time I got sick was the week I moved to Florida. My Dad had a bug and he gave it to me, my Mom and my partner. My blood pressure is perfect, but my cholesterol could drop ten points. Am I "healthier" than a guy who jogs every day? Maybe. Maybe not. All depends, doesn't it?

For all we know, the guy who posted this might be a decent looking fellow who is hanging out in places frequented by young "attitude twinks." Or his weight might not be at issue. Maybe he has dirty fingernails that dudes notice or he doesn't comb his hair. WE DON'T know. There is too much UNSAID to make an accurate assessment.

Personally, I am tired of listening to what society SAYS is attractive. I don't FOLLOW what is said in the media, I'm just tired of seeing and hearing it paraded on TV every single day. That "perfect" twenty-four year old skinny kid with the full lips and tousled hair... doesn't turn ME on AT ALL. Give me a beefy, older dude who shows some signs of maturity any day. I don't expect everyone to like what I like, and I understand that youth and certain features ARE, in fact, highly prized assets to many. That's fine. But don't ever try to suggest that these characteristics are the only ones worth having.

If Logan's Run is available on DVD, it might be worth renting.

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