CRUISING for SEX - View Single Post

ButchMascGuy · #15 7th November 2004, 04:32 PM

Society doesn't tell us who we should be attracted to?

Mainstream society has not only been telling us who we should be attracted to, it has also been telling us who is not acceptable. In mainstream America, it is a sin to be fat, obese, or overweight. You can't channel surf for more than a minute without encountering a commercial that isn't selling the very idea that being fat, obese, or overweight is a sin. Every form of media that society uses to communicate is saturated with the same message -- being fat, obese or overweight is a sin. The essential message is fat, obese and overweight people are not only unhealthy people, they are also unattractive and have committed the cardinal sin of not comforming to this "idealized fitness" image of robust health and attractiveness. And, to further drive this message into our consciousness, a mega-billion dollar industry does exist to make certain you get that message.

Walk down a grocery isle and you are inundated with "zero carb" products on the shelves. Have you checked out the dietary supplements in the Pharmacy Department at your local retailers lately? Not only are we media saturated with the message that being fat, obese and overweight is a cardinal sin, we are also reinforcing that message in other ways within our society. We've done a very good job in getting that message out and the impact of that message is being seen in youth where young girls, some as young as age 10, are dieting to achieve body weights that can only be described as closely approximating Subsaharian African dietary standards -- malnourishment and starvation. In our society, the words anorexia and bulimia come to mind. But, what does this mean when it comes to Gay Culture?

Gay culture has also reinforced what mainstream culture tells us. Our body and fitness image is linked to our overall health fitness profiles. The message is clear and unmistakable. It is a cardinal sin to be fat, obese and overweight. In gay culture, just as it is in mainstream culture, you can be socially excluded from that culture if you don't meet certain "idealized" norms. Haven't we been discussing among ourselves how a man can look healthy and fit, and yet be HIV positive? This image or picture of good fitness health is what remains on our radar, but what sneaks under that radar is something else. There are times when I shake my head whenever I hear someone say ... "so and so" looks very hot or some other variation of that theme. I am also reminded that a guy can look "hot" and still be culturally radioactive -- HIV positive. In mainstream culture, you can also be culturally radioactive -- being Gay or Bisexual immediately comes to mind.

You would think that Gay Culture would be culturally immunized to the stigmatizing effects of social exclusion given our history and experience. I think we ought to rethink how we communicate our personal preferences so that we don't become a mirror image of what is most repugnant about mainstream culture. What we seem to be saying today is that older people and those who don't comform to an "idealized" fitness profile no longer are welcome or fit in our society. Inclusiveness used to be a bedrock principle of gay culture. It doesn't look like that today.