The itch only got worse. I am trying to control myself. Some booze helps but I'm running out of funds after all that spending for the holidays.

For weeks I tried. I tried the sauna. Hoping to see Snakeboy again. He's MIA. Walked pass a couple of rooms with guys laying on their tummies and their asses out. Always remembers what Snakeboy said. The noise of butt ramming seemed so loud. Few guys I fancied and some cruised me. Most wanted me to top them. After seeing their disappointed expressions when I said" sorry busy mate.", I stopped cruising. I don't even know how to describe it.

Met one top though and again he wanted to fuck me in the public area. What's with these exhibitionist tops? Watched too many fuck videos that they think sex is for public entertainment? Or they just like showing off that they are fucking my beefy ass? Or they can smell my itch and know I'll be desperate to do what they want?

Spent most of the time watching the videos of men getting fucked. Saw one where Zak Spear fucked a guy in an office over the glass table. But remembered seeing him being fucked in prison himself before. Guys like us do get fucked too. I felt so depressed that I left without even a blowjob.

Went ot the cruise areas for many days and the usual men were there. Nothing happened. Anything is better than this. If I see G again I'll happily let him abuse my ass again. Not even such luck.

Yeah, saw that guy again. Twice. He came to chat but I avoided sex with him. He's polite but totally not my type. All bony and with rough skin, almost like a shark's.

Even tried calling BC and the same old "sorry I'm busy". Even went to the bars hoping to bump into him or even Bob to make a few bucks.

Yeah I know all this is very boring. Wonder what made me wanted to get fucked so badly. The itch I felt is there but when I fingered myself, the feeling is not right. It's very elusive to feel what I felt when I get fucked. Using a baby carrot doesn't feel right either.

But when I rubbed my leaking cock below the eye, bingo! The feeling was quite similar. It spread to my toes even. But it's not even 10% as intense. Getting fucked is so intense that the orgasmic feeling spreads to my toes, my tits and my whole body. I tried to intensify the feeling by rubbing harder or faster but that only make the feelings fade.

Weird. When my top fucked me harder or faster, I can feel that feeling crawling out to all parts of me. After having that kind of feelings, jo doesn't cut it anymore. I need a man to fuck my brains out.

I think after all the good luck that I had these few months, it's time to just bend over and take the bad luck so that it will pass. Jesus, I still thinking about how MK, BC and the boys fucking my brains out. I still want to pick men like them for sex. It's not easy when I want to be picky. It's easy if I lose it and drop my pants and bend over.

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