Last question first:
Nah, nothing else safer, though I empathize with your concerns. Tonight, in fact, I am poppered right the fuck out. I think I lost six month's worth of memories after all the sex and poppers. Well, just kidding.
But... everything else... whippets and ethyl -- fucking dangerous as hell. As in possible DEATH dangerous if you OD and use improperly. The long-told story I have about ethyl is that the one time I tried it, I passed right out. I had never passed out in my entire life before that, nor ever again. Whippets -- require PROPER oxygen, proper breathing. If you inhale nitrous over and over and over and don't take a breath -- kiss your ass goodbye. Eternal goodbye. Don't bother with this crap.
The poppers are hard core enough, true. But I think that since us queers have been doing them since the 60s, maybe earlier, and so far... so good... so... not much to worry about there.
As for WHY... well... the resultant drop in blood pressure gets your dick rock hard. Harder dick, harder orgasm. Check. We all get that. But also, there's a psychological element to it. The low blood pressure makes your dick FEEL great. You link the smell and experience of poppers to that feeling. They also allow for a whole lot of free-flowing sexual fantasy and a reduction of inhibitions. BANG! Fabulous orgasm. I'm not sure on the chemistry involved with the neuro-physiology of it all, but clearly there's some buzzing going on between the old synapses in your brain. Possibly even an introduced chemical element as well.
I'm seriously missing my regular, good-old Jungle Juice lately. The four bottles I brought with me to NY are long gone. Have some mediocre shit, but... I'm looking forward to returning next week and stopping into my usual adult store to get stocked up on the real deal.
Use modestly (and ignore MY exploits) and you'll be OK.
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