Hey Guys - I read your posts, and I can understand your situation well. There is a club that is starting up in the North End (Everett, Lynnwood, Mukilteo area) geared towards married, bi ,or curious guys who want some hot mansex at a discreet, private location.
Check out
seamenclub-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. I posted an ad on Craig's List to find other guys interested in getting together as a small group to have some fun, during the week, from like 6 to 8pm... a couple of times a month.
This is the starting point - maybe this is what you are looking for?
Check it out.