A couple of evenings ago, I was showing a first-time-to-Bkk mate round, so we stopped in Future Boys for the early show. Because this was his first experience, he rather enjoyed it. I, however, have become jaded in my old age so spent my time in there making mental notes for this post....which I'm calling "Future Boys by the Numbers".

28: total number of minutes that the 9.30 show started LATE.
12: number of "boys" (term used VERY loosely) dancing
40+: age of the oldest dancing "boy"
10+: number of years that I've seen that "boy" dancing in different clubs
17: number of customers on hand for the 28 minute-late-9.30-show
220: cost of a glass of flat soda water (in baht)
2: number of "shows" in the 9.30 show: one with two straight guys in white pants gyrating on stage for one number and then spraying each other with soda water for a second number AND a lack-lustre fucking show
0: percentage of enthusiasm displayed by any of the show performers
25+: number of kilos that the bottom outweighed the top in the fucking show
3: average number of tatoos on the dancers
7: the number of "things" that one boy had stuffed in his pants: a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, a mobile phone, a half-smoked cigarette, a wallet, a Mickey Mouse trinket and a THB 100 note
4: number of customers who left as soon as the show started
99+: decible level of the sound system in use
0: percentage chance that you could have a word with your mate over the noise of the sound system

As you can easily see, it may be time to change the name of Future Boys to "Has-been Boys". Sad, really. Future Boys was the first bar I ever went into on my very first trip here...years ago. I hate to see what it's become lately.

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