Depends on your preference. I almost always choose a boy who is straight or appears to be. And, of the ones who have become permanent features in my life, one was gay, one was 50/50 and two were unequivocably straight. The two straights guys are still a permanent and pleasurable part of my life.

But to the OP questions.

In most bars virtually everyone is offable. Either engage them in conversation on your own or ask the mamasan or one of the waiters to send the one your interested in over. Unless he's a visiting telephone repairman, no one will be bothered by your request and the telephone repairman might be up for something too.

You can tell the guy what you want to do with him (to him?) and see what kind of response you get. Or you can ask the Mamasan before hand. Neither is guaranteed to be wholly reliable but often it's helpful.

Usually you buy the guy a drink (he gets a little kick-back on that) and you sit for a bit & chat, which will also help you to decide if he's the one you want to off. If it becomes apparent it's not going to work, give him B200 and say thanks and move on.

Assuming you decide to off him, tell him. He'll go to get changed. The waiter will add the off fee to your bill and you settle up. If he's not a dancer, the off fee will be a little more. It's nice to tip the Mamasan a little something if he helped you and a small tip for the waiter.

You can go back to your hotel and later, when you part company, you tip the boy. In Bangkok the minimum (always a debate between the Scrooges and those with jai dee mak mak) is around B1500. If he's been especially good and/or he's still around for breakfast in the morning, the tip should rise to loftier planes.

Probably the biggest hurdle facing newbies is the worry about looking/sounding foolish or reluctance about being explicit in what you want. They've heard it all before and it's far better for you if you are as clear as possible about what you want. If they guy's English is limited, sort it out with the mamasan before you leave the bar.

These guys are not mind readers and what you want/expect could be entirely different from the guy who offed them last time and a whole lot different from what they'd want if the roles were reversed, so be explicit. Most guys I've offed have been happy to oblige and if you hit it off, things will probably improve with repeated offs as you get to understand each other a little better.

Chok dee!

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