I've never been able to fathom why Bangkok massage places generally are so stingy with mirrors. I mean how else can you look at the cuteness that you are paying for, while being massaged?

By far the biggest massage room mirror that I have seen is at BODY LINE, a new place currently advertised in the free mags.

BODY LINE opened a few months ago in a residential area midway between Viphawadi and Ratchadapisek roads, perhaps inauspiciously in the very same quiet soy (though not the same house) where the absurdly named River Spa (the river being over 7 km away!) opened and closed in recent years.

Potentially a little peach of a place, BODY LINE is spoiled for me by the effem. mamasan's evident weakness for rough-trade masseurs, regardless of competence.

The first masseur I tried of the 3 or 4 on duty had a smile to die for but turned out to be a fitness fanatic who apparently saw the job as an opportunity to work out and be paid for it. Though exhaustingly energetic, he hadn't a clue about massage or apres massage.

On my second visit, the masseur I chose was equally hopeless, but he may have known something that I didn't, because he refused to permit any sex, except uncomfortably in the bathroom!

Nice house though! Beautifully converted to their new role, the reception rooms still have a homely feel. The few new massage rooms I saw at the back each have a bathroom or a big shower. They also have a couple of features that I have long dreamed of but never before found in a massage place:

1. At least 1 room has a mirror wall facing the massage table (Dear Lord, let it not have been 2-way!), and

2. TVs in the rooms, with gay porn CDs - defective, naturally, just like the ones I used to buy and now no longer do for that reason. Their main benefit proved to be getting the boys quickly turned on, though that tends to be your massage over and done with!

If I ever return to BODY LINE, I'll hope to find some trained staff. But for all I know, it could appeal right now to those into rough trade masseurs.

BODY LINE is 400 metres down soi Inthamara 32, well-signed on the left behind its leafy carpark. Phone: 02 6917679.
Buses stop at the soi mouth (Nos 52, 54, 74, 117 and 204, several of which can be caught in a Northerly direction under BTS Ari station, but will be awfully slow at busy times). The quickest route could be the MRT to Sutthisan, take station exit 4 (unless superstitious!) and a 2km moto'cy ride.
I paid 790 baht (plus tip) for an hour's oil.

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