I've lived in New England and when I did, on more than one occasion I was more than willing to cross state lines to get some. The comparison between New England and Northern and Southern California (I've lived in both those places, too) just doesn't hold up for me. It takes about 7 hours to get from SF to LA, driving fast and with little traffic (like that happens often!). In 7 hours I can get from Provincetown to Montreal, allowing me to cross over a great deal of New England on my way to another country.

Again, speaking as someone who has lived in San Francisco and San Diego, and also Provincetown, when I lived in San Francisco it was a very narrowly defined world. No one would think of heading to Fresno to get some. In San Diego no one would think of going to LA to get laid because the traffic is bad and the mindset of each city tends to look down on the other. On the other hand, my impression of many New Englanders was that going from Provincetown to Providence to Boston to Portsmouth was not a huge stretch. It might not happen weekly, but for the right guy it did -- and does.

Those who have pointed out they weren't consulted are right: we did this based on traffic patterns -- both real traffic/commuting on a highway and also web traffic within any given forum. The Connecticut forum is popular, while the southern New York forum is lonely. Also, as I stated earlier in this thread, a person who lives in the heavily populated portions of southern and western Connecticut are often commuting into NY to work or play. Or at the very least, the populations on both sides of each state line are larger when combined, thus increasing the odds of finding the right trick if you look just a bit beyond your state.

We've asked for advice on many topics over the years and about the only time we ever get anything out of anyone (with a few individuals being a blessed exception) is in the form of criticism. For example, this thread is longer than any positive, constructive advice I got when I recently asked how to improve our sex listings. For that, we got a total of 3 comments and that took weeks to get just 3 comments.

It isn't that we don't appreciate being told when we're wrong, or to receive suggestions on how to make it better. But sometimes you think, my god this person is taking this -- whatever this may be -- just a little too seriously. I mean if a guy is looking at our boards and wants to get sex in Connecticut, he'll figure out that just because we've combined southern NY with his state doesn't necessitate that he cross a state line, though it does open up some potential from some hot and horned up New Yorkers. It is not, however, the end of the world nor a reason to put us down with petty comments.

I know that TV Slut isn't going to like this format. I acknowledged in a previous posting to this thread that our point was to make the forum work more for those who lived in the more heavily populated areas of Connecticut. TV Slut lives in a small town near Rhode Island so regretably this isn't that advantagous for him. Maybe combining Rhode Island with Connecticut would have been more appealing to TV Slut, but then Greenwich Slut (just a made up name!) might be the one protesting.

I'll give you an example of why you sometimes have to weigh the comments against what you know to be true. Recently I had a guy write me about how he stopped using us because our moderator was heavy-handed. His solution: to extoll how great Craig's List was. Of course I know, from using CL myself, that the notion of moderation with a heavy hand is alive and well over there. Absolutely any anonymous individual can flag any ad without explanation. Try getting the owner of CL to respond personally. On the other hand, I value the men (and the few women) who come here and I try and make sure we always listen and when appropriate, respond. That doesn't mean we can always make changes to acccomodate every point of view, though sometimes we do. But often when we make changes sugggested by others, somebody else tells you how you've destroyed this or that with one move you made at the suggestion of another. Sometimes there just is no way to please everyone.

I didn't mean to offend TV Slut, but I confess that his comments just struck me as not especially helpful. My reply wasn't helpful either and I'm sorry, but sometimes you just get tired of being told how wrong you've done this or that with virtually no applause for something you might have done right over the last 12 years of keeping this site online.

sluttycub, I am sincere in telling you I appreciate your thoughts. You didn't have to take the time to write this and it shows you value this community. For now, we need to give this some more time to see if it works. I'm still weighing this and nothing is final.

Thanks,
Keith

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