Quote:
Originally Posted by wrestlboy
I have a problem: I am a 62 years old white gay male and I am fairly young looking, kind of like an older geek nerd type guy. I am in excellent physical condition due to working out and mountian biking. My "problem" is that I am attracted to younger looking guys 20's -40's but the guys that age who are interested in older guys want a macho burly "daddy type" or a silver hair "grandpa type" guy . I am totally unattracted to guys my age or in some cases 10-15 years YOUNGER who are these types and most of the younger guys want guys their own ages which is totally understandable. I was wondering if any other guys are in this same situation? Any comments would be very appreciated. Thanks
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You have perceived your situation with the greatest accuracy. Yup, if they are not into their own peers, the 20's-40's dudes are into the few types of daddies and that pretty much does it for them.
Do yourself a favor and try to lighten up both your image and your search parameters. You may want to re-invent yourself a bit. Tone down the nerdo-geekish component a bit and emphasize the mountain biking and outdoors adventures of a sharing, successful dude.
We all have our very preferred types. Yet, making your search (parameters) all too specific will turn down far too many guys, including the ones who share the same interests with you, since they are very likely to perceive you as someone who might ONLY be interested in superhero games or as someone who is ONLY interested in former Boy Scout dudes. You never said that, but that is how you are perceived, if you get too specific all-too-soon.
The guys you are after know only too well that they are a very sought after bunch these days. We all ought to agree with
generous2u here. Most of these dudes both need and want an incentive. And such incentives do tend to have a price tag attached to them as well. When it comes to such matters, you want to stay as cool-headed as you possibly can be. If 'rompin' in the hay' is all you really want, few f***buddies with benefits will do nicely. Keep it quiet; down to earth and simple. It works like a charm.
If you are looking for a LTR, you need to find a suitable guy who wants to take the ride with you and who must be motivated in an entirely different fashion. Most guys I have met so far have a price tag attached to them. Yet, to believe that the price tage attached is always a simple € or $ figure is plainly wrong. Showing them that there are ample rewards of all kinds, if they get attached to you will do miracles with some guys. The others will not care at all. People do happen to be very different. My BF said that once we got together, the gates to a world above his glass ceiling opened wide and he was able to do the things that used to be entirely beyond his realm of imagination. That completely 'new quality of life' was his chief incentive.
The concept of simple equality may not work too well with two guys who belong to the two vastly different age groups. If you are much older than your BF, you will be his 'Daddy' one way or the other, spokenly or unspokenly so. That comes with the territory. You do not want to spend to much time brooding over this. You want to stay independent while trying to help him develop and grow. Very soon, rather than going through the equality matters, you'll be naturally discovering what is that you are good at on an individual basis. So, you'll take over such matters and leave his matters to him. The little 'specialized fields' will show up and you'll start playing as a team. This will both enhance and secure your relationship.
KD