Quote:
Originally Posted by Bago
My experience is that it depends on the state of life of both parties. I had a serious BF who was 18 when I was in my late 30s. It lasted only over a year. The main problem was he was still a student and could not understand the responsibilities of a working adult. My present BF of 6 years already had working experience when we met (he was in his mid-20s) In many ways we are now considered "equals", though initially he depended much more on me for advice on worldly matters.
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I cannot agree more with you here.
This is one of those KEY issues...
Most young guys do know that there are responsibilities associated with your career, home, investment, social networks, family, etc.
Not having to really face all of those in real life yet, their views are at times seriously skewed, and you often hear that coming up as a source of some friction in a relationship...
The best possible approach in my books, is to take the risk, and let the young guy reach his independence (to whatever extent the case may be) ASAP.
Once he starts worrying over all the issues, we are used to coping with, his prospective will change pretty quickly.
The things tend to get from bad to worse, in particular, if the 'older' guys act as providers. The younger dudes, not having to go through the intricacies of the 'daily grind' often lack the basic understanding of the mechanics thereof.
I still vividly remember the times when my 17 years younger BF (we are still together
) was logging daily protests against all the business-related socializing I had to go thru with. I told him to get a job, and start contributing towards our otherwise very impressive expense account.
Though bright and with an impressive academic & charity work record, no one was about to give him a real break. I let him taste the desperation of a temporary defeat.
Just as he was about to give up, I picked up a phone, and got him a starry start job. He excelled beyond anyone's expectations, and we have had a great ride ever since.
BTW, whenever I even try to slack away from any of my 'OMG-WTF duties', he is the first to remind me, where that bread on the kitchen table, plus a few neat extras come from...
KD