While I can understand first-timer's jitters, I do think the discussions on this forum are reflective of reality. The reality is that there are no guarantees, when what you seem to be asking for in your questions are guarantees.
Authentic (as in not straight)? - Thai culture does not have the gay-straight divide as in the West. Even if they understand the gay-straight divide from Western thinking, they are working boys, they may not be truthful. Even if they are, some straight boys perform better in bed than gay boys.
Honest? - They are working boys. What do you expect?
Clean? - They are working boys. What do you expect? You take your own precautions.
Double as a tourist guide? - The typical working boy in Chiangmai speaks Thai badly (because he's not Thai, but Burmese) and English not at all. Secondly, he knows no more than one-tenth of what you can glean from a Lonely Planet Guide.
Re your additional questions:
They are humans, please treat others with respect.
It will seem a little bewildering the first time, but it's not hard to learn the ins and outs of the Thai commercial sex scene. Relax, watch what others do (or don't do) and you will enjoy yourself.
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