The headlines are there and disturbing.
September 14th, Billy Lucas of Indiana hung himself due to bullying at school over his being gay.
Billy Lucas, 15, Hangs Himself After Classmates Called Him a 'Fag' One Too Many Times / Queerty
On September 19th, Seth Walsh of California tried to hang himself in his backyard after being bullied about being gay. The 13-year old laid in a coma for 10 days before dying.
BULLIED TO DEATH: Seth Walsh, 13, Dies After 10 Days On Life Support After Suicide Attempt / Queerty
Last week, 13-year old Asher Brown of Texas shot himself in the head after enduring teasing and bullying in school for a year and a half for being gay.
SHOCK: Gay Texas 13-Year-Old Asher Brown Shoots Himself In The Head After Horrific School Torment / Queerty
Late Wednesday, the body of 18-year old Tyler Clementi was recovered in the Hudson. Tyler posted a note last week that he was going to jump off the George Washington Bridge. The Rutgers University student was driven to this desperate act after a sexual encounter between him and another male was broadcast on several internet sites. The encounter had been secretly taped and distributed by two fellow students as part of on-going anti-gay bullying.
A Universitys Suicide Shock - Road Runner
Teenagers have a hard enough time coping with the changes they face as they enter puberty and young adulthood. Bodily changes, school pressures, and the desire to assert their independence are difficult enough to handle. Add to that turmoil, the difficulties of realizing your young sexual desires are not consistent with what society expects of you.
And who can these young people turn to? Their church? Most clergy still regard homosexuality as abnormal. They more often recommend youngsters purge themselves of these "sinful thoughts" than give worthwhile counsel on accepting yourself. Their school? While some schools offer minimal sexual education, school personnel run in fear from any indication that they condone homosexual behavior. Most schools can't even properly address the issue of anti-gay bullying. Their family? While times have changed, and more families are supportive of homosexual offspring; there is still the possibility of rejection from parents and becoming the butt of your siblings ribbing. Plus, how can heterosexual partners provide guidance to a developing homosexual. Their peers? Coming out in school is going to attract the attention of bullies. Even your best friend can turn on you, fearful of being hit on. Macho straights have the misconception that every gay desires them. They are too immature to realize that friendship does not mean bedmates, the same misconception they have with every girl who smiles at them.
Only a few communities have a GLT association dealing with young people. Can older gay men reach out and guide these developing psyches to accept their own sexual orientation and be at peace with their inner self? Only if they want accusations hurled at them that they are trying to recruit young gays over to "the dark side". Or worse, they could be regarded as gay pedophiles, out to seduce "normal" young boys for their "perverted" desires.
According to tonight's NBC News report, 84.6 percent of gays have been verbally harassed at school, and 19 percent have been physically abused for being gay.
There is no easy solution to the problem. We are after all animals despite our claims of civility. The strong will always pick on the weak. The bullies perceive gayness as a weakness and attack. The attitude of mob mentality does not need hundreds to run amuck. One or two perceived leaders can quickly motivate other students (all wanting to be considered part of the herd) to strike out at the gay "freak" in words and actions. There will continue to be others driven to the despair of considering suicide. There will be others driven to act on those suicide thoughts. No monuments will be raised to their martyrdom. We will all say "what a waste of a young life" and move on with our life. Often those responsible will face no charges, dismissed as "boys will be boys" or laws do not address bullying or cyberbullying unless there is proven physical assault.
I do not have the answers, only the sadness at the loss of so many in the last month just because they were different. I did not consider them different, I considered each as unique.
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