I don't think it's either. Rather, it's the most fundamental element of mansex for the vast majority of us. How one approaches it is what turns it into a fetish or fantasy. Fetishes are things like needing something extra to really enjoy one's self: Jocks, cock rings, PAs, flattering slacks. Fantasies are things like a sports player, perv coach or boss, role playing. Those are means to an end: Heightening the enjoyment of a cock.
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