I have mentioned this little story in one of my posts recently.

Briefly, I hooked up with a pretty cute college dude using Grindr. It turned out that the guy was very critical of the guys who were hooking up for sex. They were shooting over indecent pictures of themselves via Grindr, and all of that was disgusting and what not.

So, I grew interested in this. It turned out that the dude I met was generally not interested in either dating or sex or friendships. When I asked him, why was he contacting guys on the Grindr (he chatted me up), he grew silent. He knew all the things he did not like and all the things he did not want but could not name a single thing he was hoping to achieve by chatting the other guys up, and meeting them afterwards.

Long story short, he was afraid of sex. Unlike those of us who grew up without the endless porn stream on the net, and who were very much looking forward to hooking up with other guys for sex, this dude was simply scared out of his wit. He did not know how to do all those things that he saw on the net. There was no one around to show him the ropes, and he felt that everybody was expecting him to perform like a professional porn star!!!

I never thought that all this free porn/dating/apps and the technology we have would scare guys into complete inaction and negativity.

I went down the memory lane, and thought of all the things that happened in my youth with the dudes who used to be as inexperienced and "new" at it as I used to be in my time and day. Yet, virtually, no one was scared, and everyone was happy to give it a try with a dude of his liking. If it went alright, we went for more. If it didn't, you gave it another try. I do not recall anyone complaining that their experience was not as stellar as they had hoped it would be.

Sure, the size queens would go around bemoaning the fact that the top could have been 'bigger', and the tops would go around complaining that the bttm dude was too sensitive, and unable to take any serious pounding, but there had been no negativity about any of this... .

Just venting, I guess...

KD

Quote |