Yup. I did try to reconnect with a few of my college time buddies on the FB. As expected, it turned out to be quite a mixed bag.
A few dudes never replied. I am sure that they must have had their reasons. I left it at that.
A few guys sounded pretty thrilled, and wrote back giving me a longform on what has happened in their lives since we graduated, and went on living our lives. It made an interesting read. By far, most guys got married, have kids, got divorced, married again, etc. The usual ...
The dudes who replied to my message referred to the 'good, ole times, in one way or the other, mostly discounting the sex bit as the follies of our youth. I did not think that I should contest this. Frankly, I knew it then and there that these guys were simply horny, and were looking for an outlet. I used to be one of them. A guy has got to do what a guy has got to do.
One dude wrote a long reply telling me that it all did not matter, that he has changed, that he is now straight, and that I should not be dwelling too much on the past. He was not going to do it again, ever. Judging by his FB pic, I would not be touching him with a long wooden stick either. I never thought that the sex we used to have really "mattered". We did what we did, but there has never been any promise about any common future, love or anything else. So, a dude was like stating the obvious. His "super str8" attitude led me to believe that there was little truth in his words, but I left it at that, too.
Couple of dudes have stayed in touch. They are single or divorced, mostly fooling around with other dudes if not living openly gay lives. Sort of being semi-closeted. Yup, life could have been better, but it was not too bad either way.
It used to take a lot of very hard work, and quite some skill to swim against the current in those days. The societal acceptance of gay dudes was pretty low in those days, and no one should blame them for not calling the right shots. We have the doubtless benefit of the hindsight.
One of the guys was kind enough to open up and send me a few cute b/w pix of him with other dudes. Pretty tame by present standards but an act of doubtless courage in those days.
KD
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