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Originally Posted by jonn3
Very true. None of us were "gay" back then even the ones you knew would turn out to be gay. It is amazing to think how far society has come in just a few years (yeah I know - it has not been that few but thinking about how many years makes me feel old!). Although in some ways there is now almost TOO MUCH pressure to "accept who you are". You see youtube videos of 12 year olds "coming out" and I more than understand that 12 year olds are sexual and interested and may even know they are gay - but does it really help them to be that public or does it just typecast them at an age way to young?
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The good bit then used to be that no one really felt compelled by the media and marketeers to come out, and wear their sexual orientation on their sleeve. You were who you were, and that really used to be only your business. The notion of the 12 year olds coming out on the Youtube is ludicrous at its best. And ruinous at its worst.
"Just Do It" and "Go For It" kind of campaigns are wonderful marketing gimmicks. No one is telling you to think long and think hard about the consequences of the decisions you are making. Good intentions are usually just the opposite of good.
So, we used to live in a relative closet. We were hooking up with the like-minded guys who we were interested in. The idea that someone is gay or not does neither add nor subtract the degree of sexual attraction I feel towards this guy. If the vibe is right, we shall be going at it soon enough. If it ain't no amount or rainbow flags and pins will ever help.
The other problem that all this coming out business has created is the very idea of gay identity. True, this has been a wonderful tool in achieving most laudable political and legal victories in many countries. Equally so, it has put on neon labels on a number of men who have reduced their dating/mating pool to the members of the neon labelled tribe either willingly or not.
Quite a few guys out there are happy to have sex with other men. They simply do not see why should their sexual behavior become a matter of great public interest. Such dudes, qualified or not, run for the hills if approached by someone who is out to everyone. For many people, sex is a private, intimate affair, not to be openly shared with the rest of the world. So, the proactive guy dudes coming out on the FB, YouTube and everywhere else are essentially reducing their own dating pool. Do they believe that other guys who do NOT find them attractive will go and have sex with them just because they are openly gay?
KD