Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
There were so many cases where one or the other of us "just happened" to have a new porn mag when we saw each other - and so often comments like "damn I wish there was a chick here" or "I wish my girlfriend would put out like that" would be responded with "well there aren't any girls here" ... the excitement, the enthusiasm and the frequency it happened made it very clear - we both loved cock - but would never admit it out loud.
I often wonder which I was more afraid of - admitting to him that I liked it or admitting it to myself.
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We used to have a slightly different angle here. Yup, nominally, ALL the dudes were hoping that they will soon find a GF, AND that the new GF will be more understanding of their, ehm, raging needs. This was a general narrative that hardly anyone thought should be voiced.
In the meantime, almost everyone was somehow in-between the GFs, or was having a GF who would not go far enough to please her man.
No one would spend much time dwelling on these issues either. You buddied up with your 'guys', and you took care of the business at hand. You did the deed, but you did not talk much about it. Unless, there was a salacious detail that would make the other guy(s) laugh.
These were your college days, and you were enjoying your freedom. You were going to get married, have children, etc., so you were going to be totally str8 afterwards anyway, when it kinda mattered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn3
"chose to live st8 lives" is a good way to put it.
The idea of being gay was not an easy option when we were kids. Although everyone knew about it they still mostly considered it a "sickness" and in MANY states right until the 80's it was technically illegal.
There were some guys that you knew were just doing it because they were horny and it was the only option - a one time or maybe a summer thing.
Others that were clearly bi - they fooled around a lot with guys but once the girls started putting out they lost interest or only did it when drinking....
And I know one guy I played around with who is now married with children who has told me if he grew up today he would probably be gay.
A lot of these guys live their "str8" lives - many of them even being completely faithful - but then they get online and spend the late night alone jacking off to gay porn.
And others when they are away on a business trip where no one knows them figure they can have a one night fling without being worried about getting caught....
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When we started messing around with each other, nearly everyone was sure that this was a 'one off thing' or maybe a 'two offs thing'. So, it was all fun and games in the beginning. Few guys had the wisdom at that early stage in life that we ARE creatures of habit. By the time we hit our soph year, the bragging about the girls stopped. The tops topped, the bottoms bottomed, and fun was had by all. Even the guys who occasionally scored with their new GFs kept coming for more. Mostly because they needed more than the GF was willing to give, and probably because it was easier to get your rocks off with your buddy, like you did so many times in the past. Some dudes also claimed that they were not going to marry their present GFs anyway, so the sex they were getting on the side did not really matter.
By the time we were supposed to graduate, most guys already knew the lay of land ahead of them.
Some chose to go for the str8 option. Gay lifestyle was never their choice. The pressure of their families and friends was mounting, and frankly, they did not want to be viewed as freaks.
Few guys chose to stay 'eternal bachelors', and play the field. They started working on their Casanova images, insisting how they were keen on having fun but were not interested in getting married and raising children, now that they got good jobs, careers, and were deemed so attractive by the available ladies. Some of this was just posturing. Those dudes still sought sex with other men but stayed in deep closets.
Very few guys, went openly gay, found a BF or played the field. Most of us moved away, started our lives and careers in different towns or even in different countries. The new anonymity, changing attitudes, etc., all helped.
I have had relatively few contacts with my old buddies. One of the 'str8 guys who was still happy to go gay for a night at the convention hotel insisted that he had made the right choice. He was having a wonderful son, loving wife, and a good career, all of which he somehow rooted in his decision to go 'str8', and leave the fun and games of the past, well, to his past. I could see his valid point to some extent.
The rest of the 'str8' buddies went through the usual divorce, got re-married, and some divorced again. Their lives were absorbed by their alimony payments, legal expenses and lacklustre careers. I hear that some are still playing on the side, if the opportunity presents itself.
The very few dudes who went for the gay option fared a bit better. The two of them have had noticeable careers. Their private life reminds you of the usual gay life sagas. One ended with an apparent BF for life, and the other one is still 'looking'.
I have been putting very little effort in trying to revive the old college friendships. Life is pretty good as it is, and re-connecting with people who live thousands of miles apart in very different environments, while coping with different and possibly difficult issues does not sound like too attractive of an idea.
KD