When I saw this the topic on "Masculine Ideals 1980's" I was sure this was going to be about David Hasselhoff's hairy chest or Tom Selleck's mustache!
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Originally Posted by KewlDewd66
My parents and extended family, too, took some time and trouble to set me on the 'right path' when it came to my understanding what men do (being than men are supposed to be masculine and project that image around them), AND what men really do not do (because such a behaviour would not be deemed as masculine).
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The stereotypical gender roles have been around since the dawn of time and really only started to change in the 1990's...
When I grew up it was still the "pink and blue" world for girls and boys.
In gym boys had football, girls had kickball. Boys had wrestling (unfortunately no singlets), girls had gymnastics.
Both sexes were required to take some HomeEc and shop classes, but boys learned how to sew a button back on his shirt in HomeEc and girls learned how to check their oil in auto shop.
The changing roles I think started with girls being taught more traditionally male fields like science and math than boys learning more of the traditional female fields.
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First off, the visuals they approved of was a dude mostly in blues, browns and blacks. (Military uniforms were fine, and so were sport uniforms.) A guy has got to look the part.
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Very true - guys were expected to be clean - but boys will be boys - we were in jeans and t-shirts and girls may have been in slacks but they were still expected to be more "presentable".
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Second off, complaining in great detail about small issues, and sweating small stuff was totally unmanly.
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Exactly. You hurt yourself in gym you were told to "walk it off". I often think of the scene in "Monty Python's Meaning Of Life" when John Cleese as the headmaster is making morning announcments and says "Oh and Jenkins? Apparently your mother died this morning."
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Third off, career success was a major prerequisite for being a successful male in their eyes.
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The role of the provider -
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Fourth off, within reason, 'a guy has got to do what he has got to do'.
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The old "well he works hard all week so he needs to blow off some steam" or if you look at some of the "advice for woman" articles in the 40's and 50's when it talks about making sure you look good and have dinner ready when your husband gets home from work....
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Back to the present time. Probably, fewer parents spend their time and energy trying to instill specific concepts of masculinity into their sons. We all live in a changing world, and the guys will get there on there own, anyway. Or so the narrative goes...
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These days the stressing over being "gender neutral" for parents must drive them crazy. In the toy stores many are now putting toys out by age group rather than boys toys and girls toys. If you buy your son a toy truck and your daughter a doll you are stereotyping them - even if it the toy each kid would want.
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I have been coming across the dudes in their very early 20's who seem to be entirely lost, without any life plan, neither really working nor studying nor doing anything in particular but going around and trying to figure out what is it that they want/should/need to do. Where is it that they want to go to? What is it that they want to achieve?
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A lot of that is the "I'm ok - your ok" attitude of "find what makes you happy and don't worry - every thing else will just happen". Well it doesn't in today's world. Tons of kids are graduating from college with degrees they will never be able to use - they may be very knowledgeable on a subject - but they don't know how to survive or earn a living on their own.
Yes - finding something that you will enjoy in life is very important - but it also needs to be tempered with some reality - and it is the lack of understanding of what it takes to get by in life that I find missing in so many young people.