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Originally Posted by infopop
Back to the mid-1980s story: Having "arrived," we younger guys could sort of fumble around with each other or we could hook up with some really attractive older guys, both physically and on the points of personality and character, who also were well experienced, sensitive, and knew exactly what to do. They taught us by example.
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Very different from what I went through. We were young and had no idea what we were doing - there was no one with experience to teach us. We stumbled through - experimenting and figuring it out from what felt good and sometimes from comments we heard about. But it was not like one of us knew what to do or was comfortable enough to get rid of that awkward feeling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KewlDewd66
True, the biggest single stumbling block in those days used to be the what Bob called here 'the mechanics' or 'the protocol'.
It is one thing to chat up a dude or not in an openly gay bar/spa/club and follow him or have him follow you to the more private space (backroom or darkroom) or wherever, and it is, indeed, a very different thing to connect with someone in your college class, swim team, university library, etc. so that you proceed to have sex with him.
Having no gay groups of any kind whatsoever AND having no gayborhoods of any kind, we resorted to what was available at hand.
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That was my situation - mostly dealing with it all alone with the door locked by resorting to "what was available at hand"
There were no gay organizations at school and if there were I would not have had the courage to join one. I was still waiting to "out grow" the phase like some of my buddies had.
But there was no place where is was accepted to be out and cruising - it was mostly getting to know someone as a friend and then stumbling through advances and retreats as you tried to figure out if he wanted more as well.
And if he did usually the sex was sort of separate from the friendship - it was something you did but it was not romantic - it was physical.