Quote:
Originally Posted by KewlDewd66
I doubt that anyone among us in those days has ever thought that there would ever be anything like the gay lib, gay organizations, gay neighborhoods and gay marriage. We actually never envisioned the notion of separate gay identity at all. Mostly, because we did not see any merit in it at all. Life used to be pretty good as it was. Most of us sensed that underground m2m sex was societally acceptable for as long as it was kept private, and was not threatening to challenge the existing order of things. None of us felt like being the outliers.
With the doubtless benefit of the hindsight, I now see that the whole 'underground' context has been very beneficial for most of my buddies and me, too.
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One of the things I have truly mixed feelings about is the "normalization" of being gay in today's world.
On the one hand, it's great that in many places same-sex couples can marry and have anti-discrimination protections to one degree or another. Maybe not so much here in Texas, although I find most folks to be tolerant and pleasant one-on-one. Sexuality isn't really an everyday topic of conversation, after all, but the kids of the lesbian couple next door to me seem to be treated exactly the same as the kids of the straight families on our suburban cul-de-sac.
And sure, it's great to see more portrayals of LGBTetc. people in different types of media. We represent, at least if we're also in a group that has income and demographic characteristics that marketers want. If you're poor or a person of color or in poor health or older than the desired demographic, you may be an object of the media instead of the subject.
On the other hand, I miss being countercultural. I miss being part of a group "on the outside" with both the freedom and the danger that came with it. Many of our old-school gay bars and other gathering places were truly "places of our own" where we could be ourselves and explore (or at least watch the options) how to express sexuality and identity beyond the limits. So many of these places are disappearing now, their denizens aging, the cultural mindset changing.
I saw this article over the weekend and was going to post it as a separate topic, but it illustrates some of what I'm feeling:
Gay Leather Scene Tones Down From Hard-Core to Dress-Up
It's odd for me to feel this way since I was, even here, an outlier concentrating on my career and my larger life. I never centered on the leather scene like a lot of guys did, only joined one or two clubs with rather loose membership based on fetish activities, not on club solidarity, and generally went in and out of the scene as circumstances, feelings, and time allowed.
I guess I took for granted it would be there for me when I wanted it and now I'm sad that it's changed.
Yet I acknowledge everything changes over generations and decades, and everyone faces change within their own life. Why should different parts of the gay scene be different?
As far as "mattering" goes, I think we make ourselves matter, much more than relying on someone else's opinion or their idea of whether we're attractive. Here we are, here we stand -- or sit, if that makes us feel more comfortable.
~ Bob