Another interesting thread. I see the original study as sort of mushy social science that doesn't really tell us a whole lot. We would be best served by a study that did a more thorough comparison by relationship status, SES, and lots of other factors with a cohort of similar non-gay men and women. I know lots of older non-gays who are sorely affected by ageism, and I'm not sure that the society as a whole hasn't internalized ageism.
The concept of "I matter" is what determines healthy aging in all segments of society, so I'm not exactly sure what we'e learned from this particular study.
I do feel bad for the 60 year old who want to get it on with "35 or younger men only". But I guess I'm just lucky that men around my own age were attractive to me as I aged myself (plus or minus several years). I do think that older men who want younger women generally have an easier time finding relationships with them, based on social norms, women's attitudes about sex and love, etc.
As much of a struggle as it was for me to come to grips with my sexuality (in my sixties, it sometimes still is), I do look at it as a central feature to my growth as a person. It just wasn't going to fly to be a "pay, pray and obey" kind of church-goer, and it set me on a path to what has been a very satisfying life of personal growth. I get the impression that many of us had a similar opportunity. Minority/outcast status fueled that to some extent. But how I played it out as a sexual being (thorough enjoyment of sexual adventure, playing on the edge, anonymous sex, etc) was a choice. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to other people, and so I am very glad that there is much more acceptance for gays and lesbians who want to get married and live family lives. More choices is always a good thing, and will probably result in more people with a sense of "I matter" and less internalized ageism.
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