There's really no point to being depressed about getting older - that's not to say you might not feel it. Everyone ages and the alternative is not to be dead, but just to get on with it and say to hell with those that look at you as though you should be wearing a shroud.

Being gay or bisexual or just liking sex with men is difficult enough in itself with some of the attitudes you get faced with. I know that youth and beauty seem to be valued like golddust in the gay world. I'm three years behind you and my partner is 17 years older than I am. Years ago we went into quite a well known gay bar in London's Soho. It was like walking into a saloon in an old western where everyone looks at you and then turns their heads but puts thier hands on their holsters. It was so bad that the barstaff even pretended not to notice us. We left and never went back, and the way I look at it is that they lost out on us paying for a couple of glasses of overpriced beer and never got a tip either, which they'd probably have needed to put towards another pair of Calvins (and since Klein means small in German I don't know why anyone wants to advertise it!)

If you're into younger looking guys then that's fine. Personally age and beauty are not things that matter to me. If a guy's into you you'll know. If not, like buses, there'll be another one along in a minute. That sounds far too callous - sorry. I do agree with taking care of yourself and not trying to look like you're 20 when you're not, and not pretending online that you need to check in your genitals as hold luggage when you fly. Pushy gay men at any age are a bit of a pain. I've always been a bit of a 'more the merrier' type, but some aren't and there's nothing worse than having to fend of unwanted attention when you're concentrating elsewhere.

I saw from your blog that you asked us all to listen to the dear departed Eartha. If it's not too homo, I'd say listen to Dorothy Loudon singing 'In Just No Time At All' - the best line of which is 'I have a secret I never have told/Maybe you'll understand why/I believe if I refuse to grow old/I can stay young till I die. Now I've known the fears of 66 years/I've had troubles and tears by the score/But the only thing I'd trade them for is 67 more'.

OK, that is a bit ubergay, but I really don't like the fact that people limit what they want to such a narrow age range. They do suggest that by 35 you're practically not worth the bother, but as I put in another post, what they're not realising is that you know what the equipment's for and how to use it. So be proud of being 50 and go with it. Leave the medallion and chest hair wig at home, enjoy your younger lover and relish every minute of whatever comes your way (so to speak!). I live in the UK, but was recently on holiday in New York, had a dreadful accident, which resulted in me being in a coma for five weeks and practically having to learn how to walk again. It was just a slip, but I fell down a huge flight of stairs. You never know what's next in this life, so don't waste a second.

Steve

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Oh, I love ubergay! Glad you've recovered from your NYC slip. And now I must go and look for Dorothy Loudon.

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Thanks Keith.

I'm doing absolutely fine. Don't know if you're serious about Dorothy Loudon, but in case you are, the track is on the Stephen Schwartz album, not one of her own.

For another slightly ubergay moment, I remember seeing Eartha in Follies in London - must be quite a few years ago now. She sang 'I'm Still Here' and she actually stopped the show. We don't tend to do that in England - we applaud well but politely. I don't know if it was her performance, the song or what, but the whole audience gave her a standing ovation.

See, getting older doesn't mean giving up!

Steve

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You can't make the young ones realize they'll be old... it goes with the territory that you'll be young forever. Unless you yourself have been with a much older man and have learned how they can share their experience to dole out the sensuality and to experience a quasi-tantric, lengthy, mellow orgasm together, in which case maybe you can find a way. But don't count on it. There are guys who begin to feel invisible at 20, others at 25 or 30. And then there are guys who at 75 or 80 have a line at their door. I used to see an MIT grad student at the baths in Boston years ago, and we chatted occasionally. His fetish was getting fucked by a line of older men - in his case, many of them were elderly. He loved how excited they got, and he found it more exciting for him than just getting poked by someone his own age. It satisfied his needs, and God knows he satisfied the needs of dozens of older men.

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