I am involved in 2 relationships right now.Just turned 50, and my hormones are crazy.First guy been with over 4 years. Love him,but no passion.
Second guy been with a month. Wow. Sex is awesome.Not sure about the love part yet. Do I stay with number one, or try to make a future with 2.Right now juggling both, and feel pretty guilty.They are both 53

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not sure this is an aging question. i had a similar situation a long time ago. i went with the hot sex then and might very well do the same today. but when i think in retrospect, i might have had a happier life making the less hot choice. well try not to screw it up with both of them. does ith ave to be one or the other? why not both? i think it takes at least three months to see if there is more than hormones to sustain things.

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It's a little off-topic, but sometimes a view into another culture can show you something about your own. I have a very light complexion, and when I was stationed in the Middle East, even though for part of the time I wasn't in the greatest shape - lots of enforced sitting time at work, no opportunity for exercise, sometimes for months - my light skin was a huge turnon to some local guys. Some 18-year-old Adonis who in the US wouldn't have looked at me in my 30s, or even in my 20s, would be all over me, wanting to suck, to get fucked, to touch... for the few months that the situation lasted, it was like paradise. I'm happy to be back in better shape, but I did like the unexpected stretch of attention. Also, there's an easygoing all-male culture to the Turkish bath culture that's very sexy. Radical Islam is rooting it out, which has happened a number of times in Islamic history, but guys who like cock always bring it back eventually, as do some of the radicals who discover that they like cock. There is medieval Islamic boy-love poetry that would be considered obscene in any state of the US, yet it is a part of their classical culture over there, even if it's currently out of vogue. Years ago, there was an active bathhouse culture all over the Arab world and in Israel; the Israeli scene has moved over to American or European -style "gay saunas" where it's all about the young and beautiful. The old Turkish bath scene was one of the few places where people of all different cultures met and had direct contact. It was as if the political differences disappeared with the clothing when everyone walked around naked, young soldiers, young students, middle-aged guys, and old men. And some would have sex, crossing lines that our culture doesn't countenance crossing.

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I travel loads for living and pleasure, too. Just like a number of my gay buddies in business. We all agree that there is usually a significant bonus in being "new" to any place. People are suddenly more interested for whatever their reasons may be. If you always frequent one and the same place, the other dudes get used to you. They have either already had sex with you or they (or you) have turned them down and are not really interested.

I turn down a number of pretty qualified guys simply because I am aiming at someone I like better. Next time around, the ones I had turned down are actually the "better ones" but having been turned down once, they then seemed reasonably reluctant. That's the way it goes...

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Our culture glorifies peer dating especially among young guys. The insidious reason for that is simply that most young guys lack serious insight and are far more naive consumers and better marketing targets, then guys who are dating someone with more experience and stronger purchasing restraints. We all know loads of young dudes who are in serious debt due to mindless overaccessorizing in every respect.

My BF who is 17 years my junior never makes any serious purchase without double checking with me first, though he is a well-paid and fully independent professional on his own. He says that his first impulse is to buy whatever is "hot". Once I explain to him that this is just another wasted toy, he stops short of spending his bucks on whatever nonsense is out there and invests his cash into securing his future. In the meantime, he has been laughing at his indebted peers who are counting their pennies at the end of the month and going into yet more debt to make their ends meet. He, on the other hand is loaded and says, "sure, we can have that one vacation but the rest of the cash goes towards buying a new apartment for rent..."

Frankly, if it were not for someone much older and more experienced than himself, he would be coping with a burden of debt and his future prospects would not be that shiny either.

Ancient cultures had a long established principle of men showing younger dudes the ropes in every respect. This is how the experience and knowledge of one generation got transferred onto the next one. And this is how many young dudes got past the glass ceiling and found a better future for themselves.

Nowadays, the trends glorify relationships between the two young guys who are glued together because they like the same music and play the same games. This is a simple case of blind leading the deaf...

KD

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