[cain146xx]

There is a book serial that has turned into a Showtime serial about a serial killer who kills serial killers. His name is Dexter.

His true self so loathsome he talks about living behind a virtual mask, in hiding, always putting on an act to blend, to avoid suspicion. Always on stage, losing his sense of self, no feelings, no relationships, no meaningful contact ... a "hollow" man.

Caught in a lie he falsely admits to being a user and joins a 12 step program where he finds many parallels with substance addiction and his addiction to murder.

And that got me to thinking there is yet another anology, this could well be the story of a bi-sexual male in the USA. Our hideous nether life. Not gay, not str8, always in denial, in fear, in hiding. Living behind a mask, never admitting who we are, to others nor to ourselves. We too are "hollow" men.

I live life as a series of one-line wisecracks. A life of rhetoric. What I see the night before could well be "me" the next night. A spinning maze of booze, drugs, poppers, tobacco and dark anonymous xxx theaters. All carefully choreographed so I can blame everything but me.