Last weekend at the sauna I received two long, hot blow jobs in the steam room. Later on I met this cute guy and we went to a room. After fooling around for a while, he suddenly sat down on my cock and jerked himself off. Normally I would never do this without a condom but it happened so fast and it seemed a bit harsh to push him off. I was only inside him for two minutes and I didn't come myself but afterwards I noticed a few abrasions on the skin of my cock from the earlier blow jobs and I'm afraid that if he's in the habit of having unprotected anal sex I may have exposed myself. What do you reckon the chances are and should I get tested?

thanks.

Quote |

You're right, chances are if he's sitting on your dick without a condom, he's been doing it all night and it's probably typical behavior for him.

As for your "chances", well, I'm going to say minimal, only so you don't spend the next few weeks worrying which will do you no good eithe way. Other guys on here will say it's a huge probability. We all know each others stance on this kind of thing on here given it's the same handful who post so it's not hard to get a picture of each others idea's etc. In this case, given the "abrasion" factor, I'll have to lean towards their opinions, should they post them.

Here's why I say minimal and I'm no medical Dr. so take it as just some thoughts from a guy on a sex site.

Contracting HIV from topping raw is difficult, not impossible as it does happen, but not as common as it is from taking a load in your ass, yet, with the abrasions in place, it increases the odds a whole lot.

Also, with the new medications, and that's assuming this guy is poz and on them, it makes it even more difficult to contract the virus. This isn't just from my own experience, it's been stated to me from medical professionals and HIV counselors.

However, you should get tested for sure, no question about that. Make sure you get tested for other STD's as well as they are very easy to get, even with less risky sexual practices.


The one thing that concerns me in your post is the fact that you thought it would seem "harsh" to push him off.

Protecting yourself isn't harsh, it's wise. If the guy thinks it's offensive, he'll move on and find another cock to sit on bareback for sure. You should look at how that happened and see that you are responsible for your own actions and shouldn't let your risk management be in the hands of others. This is different, it's not like sucking it up at a restaraunt with a terrible waiter, it's your quality of life we're talking about here.

Let us know how it all works out if you feel comfortable doing so.

Quote |

Ah yes, the world of statistical probability and how it factors into acquiring and/or transmitting STDs.

Let's first deal with the facts. A surface abrasion on a penis is usually a superficial scratch or rubbing that irritates the top layer of skin. The probability of the HIV entering from a surface abrasion is minimal if any at all. However, if you have had any bleeding from any of the large blood vessels near the surface of the skin on the penis itself, it is possible for the HIV to enter via that route. Next. You don't know the other guy's HIV status, so you don't know if you might have been exposed. It is always this fact that causes people to get seriously about HIV exposure -- after the fact.

If it will give you peace of mind to get tested, then by all means get tested. What is the chance you may have been exposed? I don't have a statistical probability for what you have described because I don't know just how superficial the skin abrasions were on your penis. But, why leave something to chance anyways if you are that concerned? Given the fact this other guy didn't care if you used a condom when he sat on your penis, he's a prime candidate for acquiring STDs and passing them on to other potential candidates -- including YOU.

__________________
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

Quote |

i had a similar situation happen to me recently. i was getting sucked thru a gloryhole. when i was ready to cum i pulled out a little and looked through only to see the guy's ass instead of his mouth. i remember feeling something change towards the end so i don't think i was in for long. The guy was very loose and used a lot of lube.

Quote |

I had a similar experience which I related here at least once before. A dude walked into my room at a bathhouse and simply sat down on my already hard dick. I was amazed at how effortlessly he managed to do this -- and how fast. In my case, however, I didn't have abrasions on my dick and I most certainly DID push him the hell off (though it required a very minor "struggle").

Though I have already stated about four or five times in the last couple months that I don't subscribe to odds-making when it comes to risk of STD transmission... like the two posts above, I'll have to agree that your risk was minimal.

Also like the two posts above, I'm telling you that only so you don't freak out as much as you might otherwise freak out. Yet I know this doesn't necessarily help. I've talked to guys and held their hand through testing (metaphorically, online) who had much, much LESS risky sex but who still couldn't stop worrying. So it's really a matter of YOUR perspective more than anything else. Some dudes will flip out if a guy cums on their hand. Others take it in stride if they have four different dicks up their ass in one night.

Here's the bottom line, dude: there are NO odds that you can accept as completely accurate. There are degrees of risk, yes. But all the numbers that get tossed around... eh. Can't put much faith in those.

Furthermore, the ONLY way you can EVER know for sure is to get tested. End of story. All the talk in the world won't change that.

Get tested now, to ease your mind. After you get the results, wait six months, get tested again. That's the best course of action at this point. A test now is not going to be as accurate as a test taken in six months, and you could very well wait and just test then, but it can be VERY beneficial to get through one test right away. You'll be familiar with the whole process and won't be as reluctant to go through with it again in the future, and you'll have built up confidence that might come in handy when it's time for the six month test. Even testing at three months is more accurate than testing done the day after exposure, so wait three months if six seems too long for you. (We are talking about standard testing here, the stuff most normal folks can afford and can have done anonymously -- not PCR testing, which is expensive, not available anonymously, but does show results much sooner than your basic ELISA or whatever.)

I'm going to nitpick just a LITTLE here. HIV can be transmitted through "micro-cuts" in oral mucosa -- we know this, but again, we have no definite "odds" for something like that. We are also fairly sure it can be transmitted through the meatus (pee slit) of the penis. This assumes intact skin on the rest of the penis. Therefore, it is hard to say to any degree of certainty that abrasions need to be more pronounced or more than superficial to allow for HIV to enter the body. HIV can also be transmitted with a single stab from an infected hypodermic, as has been evidenced in a few cases where HIV was contracted by medical professionals. It isn't necessary to use a needle to suck blood into the syringe as when doing intravenous drugs, shoot it back into the body, then share the syringe with someone else.

HOWEVER -- it IS true that the bigger the cut, the more blood to blood or blood to virus contact -- the easier it can be to transmit HIV. Since we believe AMOUNT of virus makes a difference, obviously the more virus allowed into the body will increase risk.

But the fact remains: intact skin and unprotected insertion IS a risk in and of itself. The abrasions on your dick didn't help matters at all. There were multiple risk factors involved here.

And while it is true that tops are generally "safer" than bottoms when it comes to bareback sex, it is ALSO true that tops CAN and DO get HIV from unprotected sex with infected bottoms. If ONLY bottoms got HIV -- it would be that much more difficult to spread, wouldn't it? Yes, versatile guys come into the equation, of course. But the fact remains: bottoms AND tops can get it.

This is another great example of so many unique and varied elements coming into play during real world sex -- the differences between each and every sexual act are so vast that it becomes mind-numbingly difficult to try to ACCURATELY assess risk for each and every one of them. The permutations are endless.

What everyone has told you is true:

The guy's behavior is indicative of him probably being the type who does this sort of thing often. That's not cool. But it doesn't mean he had any diseases. It might... but it might not.

The abrasions on your penis didn't help, but it's probably likely they are of minimal consequence.

The duration of time was short -- that's good. But it also isn't the only factor involved.

You being in the top position is better than being in the bottom position -- but it isn't a guarantee for 100% risk-free sex.

If he had done this with many other guys that night, you may have been exposed to semen and/or blood. Or maybe not. Even if you had, the amount was probably very small. Was it small ENOUGH? Probably. But "probably" is NOT "certainly."

While getting tested is the only way to know for sure, and while I am always reluctant to assess complicated sexual encounters with many variables -- I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you my personal opinion is that you shouldn't let yourself worry too much.

I think you SHOULD worry just enough to go get tested. Like I said, it's good to be familiar with the process. And the final result will ease your mind.

When guys panic about this kind of stuff, things can get out of control very quickly. I'm not saying you sound as if you are panicking -- I'm saying you sound CONCERNED.

Concerned is good. Go get tested. Meanwhile... it's likely you're going to be just fine. And actually, that's an even BETTER excuse to get tested -- to confirm that you ARE fine. You'll have more confidence to go get it done.

Finally... get tested anonymously. Remember that confidential testing is not the same thing as anonymous testing.

Quote |

Thanks guys, actually I'm not *that* freaked out as I have been tested before - last time after getting a blow job where the guy's teeth cut the skin on my shaft and literally drew blood. This time the "abrasions" were just that - a small area rubbed raw after two very vigorous blow jobs. I don't know how many cocks he'd sat on that night but I think he blew his first load with me as it was a lot.

Actually this has happened to me before in saunas in Japan in the late 80s. Because I have a big cock, guys would line up to sit on me and jerk off. I used to think this was OK at the time but have subsequently wisened up. I'll wait a couple of months then get that test.

Quote |

Time for the physician to check in here.

The correct replies are all listed above.

To summarize:

Those small abrasions most certainly do put you at risk of HIV infection.

You should be HIV tested now, and most certainly again in 6 months.

It is unlikely you will test positive at this time, unless you were infected several weeks before this incident, in which case YOU most certainly could infect that rude guy who bottomed you.

If HE has just infected you, the likelihood of your NOT testing positive in 6 months is slim.

The cells of the rectum have receptors for the HIV virus. If they are exposed to HIV, the virus likes to stick to them, leading to infection. Those sticky cells are not present in the mouth, so oral contact with semen is much less likely to result in infection than anal contact. By the same token, if there is a concentratation of HIV virus in the guy's rectum, and you rub a denuded chunk of skin against the viral laden tissue, the virus can rub off, find the same langerhan cell in your uninfected penile skin, and bingo, we add another HIV positive guy to the list.

Now, how MANY viral particles does it take to infect under these ideal conditions? We don't know. It could be only one, and they are small buggers, it could be 10,000,000. We don't know.

Because of the uncertainty involved, and the fact that statistics only are meaningful for large groups,and you are an individual, we can't give you a simple yes or no type of answer. Get tested now, get tested again in 6 months.

Quote |

If you go to your family physician complaining of stinging when urinating and a urnine test is done, does the doctor always ask for test for STDs other than AIDs?

Do family doctors doing blood tests routinely include routine tests for STDs other than AIDs?

Do they or are they allowed to test for AIDs without your permission (other than when they or the staff might have got stuck or something similar)?

Is there a real danger in being a good samaritan and helping someone who is bleeding, say from a car accident, when you have no latex gloves to wear?

What is the difference between Anonymous and Confidential testing? Where do you normally go for each.

With almost 100 % surety I have nothing myself, but I have been in situations where the above were, I thought relevant and were on my mind, but I took the chance and did not ask the doctor.

Should sexually active, non manogmous men have routine tests for STDs including AIDs?. How often?[/b]

Quote |

This may come as a surprise, but even though I/we may have MD after our names, that does not mean we are geniuses/ all knowing/ or infallible. (I am all of the above, but I am an exception)

STDs like company. When we find one in a patient, odds are good that we will find a second, if we choose to look. Do we look? Answer: Sometimes. Should we look? Answer: Always.

Do we routinely screen for STDs? Answer: No. Come into my office complaining of bronchitis, it would be unethical of me to insist on a genital check and do a rectal exam. I could always justify it as being "a complete patient evaluation", but it would remain unethical to pursue.

Am I legally allowed to check for HIV without express permission from the patient? Answer: No, I am not. And yes, now that John Edwards is in need of a job, you could hire him to sue me if I pulled such a stunt. He needs the money, now that his wife is sick, and he has a reputation.

Anonymous testing is when Dr. Danny goes to a not so local clinic, rolls up his sleeve, pays cash for the test, and Mr 00038881 calls back several days later for the test results. Confidential is when YOU come to Dr Danny's office, I run the test, print "no copies" on my office notes, and then have the supreme court of Georgia subpoena my medical records with your name and my "no copies" printed on them

Sexually active men should be tested for STDs, especially chlamydia and syphilis every 6 months or so, or anytime there are symptoms. HIV at least annually. And yes, your doctor needs to know that you are gay, sexually active, and what those euphemistic "sexual activities" include. If he/she is an ass hole, you need to find another doctor. But you need the opportunity to establish a professional relationship with someone who truly cares about your health needs, and your intimate concerns and fears. We aren't as rare as you would believe.

Answer your questions?

Dr Danny (MD)

Quote |

Nothing to add to what our resident Dear And Glorious Physician wrote, except that he missed your last question:

Generally speaking, you shouldn't have to worry all that much about helping an injured person who is bleeding. Yes, there are technical, theoretical and hypothetical risks in doing such a thing, but for the most part... you would be very much unlikely to catch a disease at an accident scene. We could get into every possible scenario here, but (again)... we've done that kind of thing before.

I would suggest, however, that in such a rare instance as being presented with an injured citizen before professional help arrives, the best course of action is to do NOTHING AT ALL except call 911. It's not a good idea to move an injured party. Generally it is recommended that you can and should keep the person calm, talk to them, and say reassuring words of encouragement. Heroics are rarely necessary. In extreme situations, go with your gut. If someone is bleeding profusely and you think it may be life threatening, apply direct and firm pressure with whatever type of cloth is available. You'd take off your shirt or get a towel out of your car (you should always carry a towel) or whatever. Tourniquets are often not necessary and can be dangerous if applied by a non-professional or someone untrained in first aid.

And also... you can simply carry some latex gloves in your car with you, just for the hell of it. They come in handy if you have to change a tire on your way to a meeting where greasy fingernails would be inappropriate. I used to keep gloves in my vehicle so I could pick up trash on the beach (different kind of Good Samaritan stuff). I suppose I should get some more.

It would also be a good idea to avoid getting blood in your eyes, but I think this pretty much speaks for itself.

Quote |