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Message Board > Special Interest Forums & Discussion Groups > Sex Advice: Ask and Give Advice   Not sure how to go about being newly diagnosed with AIDS and having sex

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  #1  
Old 10th July 2005, 09:54 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Not sure how to go about being newly diagnosed with AIDS and having sex

I just know that I am going to be truthfull with all future partners even though I know many others arent and that I appear totally healthy . I have a real high sex drive, I'm sure thats what got me into this in the first place. I would like some advice on the proper ettiquete on how to be sexual again.
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  #2  
Old 11th July 2005, 06:49 AM
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 53
I'll get started ...

You're gonna' get lots of advice, some of it long-winded. My personal advice is based on three things:

1) You're poz. You can't undo that, but you can't ignore it, either.
2) You own the potential to mess up many, many lives. Not just your potential partners, but their partners as well. You can't ignore that, either.
3) Every partner that you have will have to make their own decisions, but it should be an informed decision.

All of the above is obvious to you, I'm sure. Now, the opinion part (from a guy who is neg, but who has had many poz partners) ...

Ettiquette? Very simple. If it's a quicky, just mention that you have condoms with you, in case the partner wants them, 'cause you're poz. If it's a relationship-thing (i.e., you're on a real "date"). There will be some time when you're talking about yourself, so just include it ("well, I don't like cats, and I'm pretty picky about eating healthy, because I'm HIV-positive and I want to stay healthy. But I do have a weakness for wings and beer.")

Some guys feel that by telling others that they 'only play bareback' that that implies that they are poz and that that is enough. Although I understand their reasoning, I disagree. Not everyone has the same level of maturity (or sobriety, or self-control, etc.).

Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. That's your responsibility (at a minimum).
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  #3  
Old 11th July 2005, 10:20 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Thanks

That was pretty right on thanks
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