The tomkat theatre located in west hollywood, california shows xxx rated all male dvds. It is basically nothing more than a suck off venue. Unfortunantly, decent looking under 45 proportionately built caucasians have vanished remaining super scarce.

A major problem is this elderly black cashier employed there that remains a first class super- asshole! The manager and all of the other employees perform janitorial duties whereas he does not! He is so arrogant that he won't even change the dvd instead he starts screaming at one of his co-workers to do so even if they are upstairs or standing outside. I've heard that he is in management but remain puzzled regarding what he actually accomplishes.

Approximately 80 years of age, it makes him feel important shrieking at his co-workers and many of the customers. You would practically have to be deaf to avoid hearing this jerk!

The owners of this theatre are aware of his behavior having received numerous complaints yet they refuse to terminate this pest. The theatre has lost many patrons because of him.

I have no doubt this problem employee would alledge racial and/or age discrimination if he were fired. Anybody have any suggestions on how to deal with cockiness & rudeness.

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You can either: A) ignore it or B) kill him with kindness.

Since you say the owners are aware of the problem and won't address it, clearly you won't benefit by complaining to them, though you have that option if you want to bother. If you were able to get many other patrons to complain as well, perhaps the owners will give this more consideration. This is unlikely, though.

If the theater keeps losing more and more money -- generally this is what gets a proprietor to stand up and take notice. But I imagine you feel helpless because you are aware that if YOU stop going by way of a personal boycott, there will still be enough guys coming in to more than make up for you.

You can also simply go to OTHER places and/or go to this place when the guy isn't working -- he cannot possibly cover all three eight-hour shifts in a day (assuming a twenty-four hour establishment).

I'd caution you to stop assuming that the clerk would make race or age an issue should he be terminated -- you can't be sure of that and quite frankly, it makes NO difference. IF the owners fear this possible retribution, not much is going to change their minds. Yet most business owners don't give this much thought: if an employee is bad at his job, has a rotten attitude, scares away customers, makes other employees feel like shit -- those are plenty of good, solid reasons to give someone the ax without worry. These assumptions of yours have nothing to do with the actual problem at hand...

When I was cruising the bookstores in NY last winter and spring, I ran into a clerk who was just awful. Surly and miserable, silent and brooding, giving me frightful stares each time I'd come in.

I ignored this behavior of his many times, as per my own suggestion above. And then I started being NICE to him. I'd smile, be polite, conduct my simple business transaction of buying tokens and mind my own business.

After a few weeks of this... the guy started to become VERY friendly indeed.

Unfortunately for me, he became SO friendly that he asked me out on a "date" on New Year's Eve, telling me I was the only "man of quality" that ever came into the store. (This wasn't true, in my opinion, and probably just a "line," but he made his point anyway.)

Some of you may remember I posted about this shortly after Christmas last year.

The guy kept hitting on me so hard that I ultimately avoided the store for a while, going only when I knew he wasn't working, patronizing other stores meanwhile. Despite recommendations from many guys online, I thought it was in my best interests to NOT go out with the dude -- and he wasn't my type; it would have been unfair to him to lead him on.

Eventually I noticed a "Help Wanted" sign outside the arcade. I pretty much KNEW the vacancy had to be the clerk who had asked me out -- I was aware via in-store scuttlebutt that the dude was no well-liked by other patrons. I figured he got canned because of his bad attitude.

I was right: a conversation with a different clerk revealed that this was indeed the case.

I'm not suggesting that if you are kind to this guy that he's going to flip his switch and suddenly ask you on a date! But I AM saying that you can easily AT LEAST get the dude to respond positively to YOU if you are friendly and ignore his silly behavior. As long as he leaves YOU alone -- it is not your business what he does with anyone else. At the very least, YOU will be given some leeway and left alone. This is probably all you can ask for in this type of situation.

Now, if you are grumbling because the white guys who meet your age and physical standards criteria no longer patronize the store because you believe this clerk has scared them away... not much you can do about that except go FOLLOW the dudes to wherever they have gone to find their fun!

Cruising venues like theaters and bookstores (and even gay bars) are notorious for clientèle changes, with new demographics coming in and others moving away. Your choice is whether or not to stay or go with the flow.

It would be the PROPER thing to do if you could at least just TRY being nice to the guy, even when it goes against the grain of common sense. See how it works out for you. If you're dealing with a bitter, eighty-year old man... you aren't likely to change his behavior OVERALL with respect to EVERYONE, other employees and patrons. But maybe you can change his attitude toward YOU, minimum. Asking for his termination seems harsh and could be a karmic mistake of epic proportions that may ultimately bite you in the ass. Leave him be -- he's old and miserable and that's the end of it.

Complaints against asshole bookstore/theater clerks are very common. Some we must take with a grain of salt as we have ALL encountered plenty of bitter, angry queens who get snappish at EVERYONE they encounter. Owners of these establishments are used to the complaints of bitter bookstore queens -- and generally dismiss them. YOU may not be a bitter bookstore queen -- but the owners don't know that and probably won't take you seriously unless many, many others offer up the same concerns.

Find a new place to get your rocks off -- or do your best to deal with what you've got.

At least you've got SOMETHING...

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