Ok, I'm sure we've had some strange ones..I've only just joined, so what do I know...

I want to say that, for someone who lives in a rural town filled with bigots, I have a pretty normal sex life. I recently turned 18, but I don't drive yet, and still live with my parents (there are reasons for both of these, but they are only minimally important); however, when we go into the nearby city (nearby=2 hours: Albuquerque...sometimes Clovis) I do meet up with guys, usually arranging things online. Now it's mostly regulars, and even though I like them the sex is getting stale. I recently got into Cruising, but one problem has arisen.

The problem: At 18 years old...I have never had a single orgasm

Basically, ever since I was 5, I had a certain "thing" I did to stop myself from having to pee. It was like humping the bed, but involed making an L with my hands, and balancing my body on it, the center focus being the base of my cock. I always stopped once the need to urinate stopped. I stopped doing this around age 12, and never continued until I was 14, long after I learned about sexual matters...

I learned, slightly, about sexual matters at 13, but never had a full realization and curiously until 14, after I had seen many porn images and videos. Trying to masturbate at 14 was met with no reward, aside from torn skin on my penis. I tried several other times when I was 15, but to the same results. One session lasted 6 hours with no results. I then realised that maybe my dried skin was a cause, so I began a heavy moisturizing regimin. It made my skin less dried. Meanwhile I started my "Hand humping" technique around this time, mainly out of curiousity. It provided no or little pleasure, but did make me cum, and since I had read that frequent release of cum prevents prostate cancer, I decided I'd continue to do this. 16 came, and I decided I should try masturbating again, this time with lube. While I did have sensitivity, my body/arms would freeze, and tense, and I could never push myself past this one sensitive plateau that I have assumed is pre-orgasm.



That brings us up to today. There is still no success, and no one I have sexually experimented with has caused me to orgasm, mainly because it causes me discomfort which they think is pain so they stop. I'm going to have my fuck buddy try again next time I'm in his town, but that's another story for another day...

Anyway, I'm met with ridicule for saying this, but I hope that my fellow Xtubers will be more understanding...

I believe the reason for this is that I spent years...nearly 3 never practicing the sexual activity of masturbation (not including the painful practices before I started to cure my dry skin, since they caused NO pleasure), that my body never grew to..adjust to the extreme sensual pleasure of an orgasm. It's well known that the majourity of first time orgasms occur as accidents, but my sexual experimentation never began until AFTER I had seen and created mental expectations for what an orgasm would feel like. It may be a mental block, but I also believe that developmentally, the body may not develop to accomodate orgasms without them occuring before purberty...Since it's natural for sexual experimentation to occur before puberty, even if it's forgotten or not understood. It's a weird idea, but I believe it shouldn't be ridiculed, since we know so little about the human body and it's development.


While I'd like to know the reason for this...the even more important thing is...do you think I can EVER get over this.

I'll be honest...you can't miss what you don't know, so I really am not missing orgasms, but it brings up issues when guys want to make me cum...I've even lost boyfriends over it.

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Not so weird as it might seem. First, I don't think you should worry about not having had an orgasm with a partner at 18. Many guys do not masturbate for a period of years and later are orgasmic. My college roommate was 19 before he ever masturbated and then he went on to have lots of orgasms, and kids too.

You seem to have "analyzed" this an awful lot for such a young guy. Since there might be a physical component, you may want to check in with a urologist. This could be done discreetly by contacting the Univ of NM; if you're still on your parents insurance and you don't want to explain this all, make up a story about difficulty urinating to your parents. Depending on how comfortable you are with your family doc, you should be able to talk about it with him or her too.

Good luck getting your problem resolved. Al

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Sensitive skin can put a damper on cockplay. Having had skin issues from psoriasis for years, there's nothing like a good vibrator for orgasmic relief. No abrasions, and some rather earth shattering orgasms.

Hope that helps

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A splendid time was had by all!

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tried it for a few hours...nothing, but you're right, the feeling is really amazing.

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The absolute worst thing you can do about sexual performance issues would be to over analyze them. Short of a medical condition, maybe you just haven't met the right persons or perhaps figured out the right position to get you off YET.

Orgasms are a natural part of life, though how you achieve them is very much individual. In years of making porn and photographing guys, I've seen guys do many seemingly odd or unusual things to get off, but it worked for them. The biggest issue I encounter is an inability to have orgasm while getting blown. This situation seems so common as to be normal. Some men can't cum while getting fucked or after getting fucked. In other words, there are many variables.

If your instincts tell you this could be medical, by all means go see someone. Also, look up tantric online and consider studying techniques such as tantric touch and breathing. I bet there is a practitioner of tantric in ABQ. Otherwise, my advice is avoid obsessing on this which, I appreciate, could be hard to do given how much importance we place on cumming.

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