It is just the logic (justification) we are used to. Back in our teens we convinced ourselves doing it with other guys is not gay if we are doing it because there were not girls around...

But that is how the male mind works - we can always justify getting off!

After sucking off a nice bearded daddy in the winter of 2019 in an ABS, after I got him off he started talking, almost crying, a confession when he thanked me: he was just so damn horny and too young to end his sex life, but his wife had cancer and was in such pain and bad health it was impossible for her, and he didn't want to cheat on her with another woman but another guy was more justifiable to him. I just let him talk for a few minutes, sincerely apologized for the situation he was in, and told him he was ok, "it" was ok, and I wished him and his wife the best in their battle and hoped that they would win. Caught me off-guard, an instant confession like that. In his case it was just a matter of I need sex and human contact, and an ABS can provide that with little expectation and chance of someone wanting to form any kind of friendship, relationship, meet-up, whatever again down the road. Just sex and human contact for the moment to get me through the crisis, for today.

On a different note, one guy explained the "I like dick but I'm not gay" thing. They liked sucking cock and hooking up with another guy and everything that m2m sex entails, but they could never form feelings toward another man at all. This was a couple decades ago before the word bromance existed, which is basically just that, sex with no emotional feelings towards the other.

It is interesting the guys who feel it is not cheating - or less cheating - if they have sex with another man rather than a woman. You see posts "My wife no longer wants to have sex and I am not ready to give up on sex but I love her" and so they find an outlet that they think is not cheating - just sex.



I often wonder about guys like that - if they were growing up today when being gay does not have the same negative stigma it had when they were kids - if their feelings would be different? I remember as kids the worst thing you could call another boy was "fag" - if asked I could not tell you anyone I knew growing up that was gay - sure there were guys I fooled around with - but none of us were gay - that was wrong. And a lot of guys still seem to have the same mindset - "I could never have feelings for a guy - I just like the sex".

But now Middle Schools often have "gay / straight alliance" clubs and things to help kids deal with their feelings - something unheard of when I was young. You see YouTube videos of young kids coming out. The view of society has changed a lot in one generation.

I know, right? Two generations ago when I was in high school, the students were fighting for a student smoking lounge, and it was being considered by the administrators! These days, good luck getting a teacher's smoking lounge re-instituted!

Our school did have an outdoor area for student smoking - even though the age to buy cigarettes was 18!

Funny now being a smoker would be more of a stigma against you than being gay in most schools.

As it should be. I have my reasons.
1) Everyone should be able to come out of the closet without be made fun of or shunned. Besides, that's more potential fun for us!
2) Not bashing smokers. I just know smoking really fucked up my mom's lungs before she died. Cigarettes can really do some damage.

VERY true - but that sure was not the way when I was a growing up. The worst thing that could happen to a boy was being labeled "homo" -

And even with the buddies I was having sex with it was always covered by a "I wish there were girls here" or some such bull shit before we did it - like that made it "not gay".

same "not gay" attitudes when I was growing up. It was fun,, feels great., etc. and as to mutual 'simulations', was usually the attitude of "if do me, I'll do you". GF not putting out, someone got a porn mag, and let's help each other out...
though I admit some guys noticed I didn't demand reciprocation., some also appreciated not having to worry about 'evidence' like sticky tissues or 'spills' with me. (yum)

I like how the current generation has coined the term (excuse? reason? justification?) "bromance". I wished we had thought of that back in the day, maybe more guys would have been "willing" back then.

That was walking the fine line - being willing but not so into it that anyone thought you were into it so much you were gay.

Seems so silly now...

I'm glad fewer men have to walk on a tight rope to ask another guy to prom or bang each other today. Still a ways to go, but its getting better.

It has improved dramatically with each of the last few generations.

Now you see gay straight alliance clubs in junior high school - when I was in school no one was "out" as gay - there were some guys you were pretty sure were - but no one was public. And what is sad is if a guy had come out people would have thought "Oh I can't hang out with him anymore or people will assume..."

Now you see young kids posting videos "coming out" - I am glad to see them being able to be true to themselves - although I do think sometimes they are being a too open too soon -

Is that a bad thing though? Maybe they'll get more action sooner or quickly find out if they are actually gay, bi, or straight sooner. Just gotta be careful.

I have seen videos of some kids at like 10 years old -

Although I think it is great that they realize and accept they are gay (I kept thinking I would outgrow it) - they are opening themselves up to the possibility of backlash from people who are not open minded - and really whose business is it that they are gay?

I worry about kids who get kicked out of their own home by a parents - or maybe friends parents who tell their kids "don't hang out with him".

Being able to accept who they are is a great thing - and I am not saying to hide in the closet - but maybe they would be better off not announcing it so publicly that young.

thinking of consequences, the future, wants vs needs, etc are rarely in the minds of "kids" in a serious way. Even things like tattoos, often think of people I have known who got them young (late teens/20's) and 10-20-30 yrs later had the "what the hell was I thinking?!" mentality. Applies to a lot of youthful ideas.