Magnificent ?? Obsession
 

Obviously those amongst us who visit Thailand for relatively short amounts of time, maybe once a year or even less often, do devote a considerable amount of their time here to the bars, massage venues, saunas, etc. Once you’ve returned home it’s enjoyable to relive some of your experiences by composing reports of where you went and what you experienced and sharing them with everyone.

On the other hand, for those of us who are permanently resident here, I wonder how much of one’s’ time is spent going to gogo bars, getting massages, standing at mall urinals, crawling through the bushes at Lumpini and otherwise filling the hours with activities that are to some degree sex-related … and then feverishly reporting it.

I sometimes think I spend too much time in these pursuits, but basically I hit Bangkok for a day about once a month and occasionally visit a bar to off a boy in Pattaya or get a massage. The latter seems to run in cycles. I may do several bars in one week ( or at least call several boys in one week for a home visit) and then go a month or even several months without bothering. One factor for me is that I do have a long-term friend who stays with me for a week or two at a time, but we never go to gogo bars or such. I’m fairly certain he would think I had gone round the bend if I ever suggested it.

There seem to be a few people here who apparently do little else other than visit every possible gogo bar, cruising spot or massage venue in Bangkok, Pattaya and lesser locales and dutifully report every possible detail including latitude and longitude. I’m sure we all appreciate the effort made and I like to run through the bar & massage reports before my monthly trip to the Big Mango, but do any of you ever feel it’s taking up a disproportionate amount of your lives?

Those of you who live here full-time, how much of your life is given over to the bars etc? Are you comfortable with that or could your life be becoming a little too narrowly focused?

I've lived and worked here well over 20 years:

- First 3 years, went out to the saunas (mostly Babylon in it's first location) two or three nights a week, and go-go venues at least twice a week.

- Today: Go to saunas perhaps twice a year, go-go bars once a month, massage about once a month.

- Occassionally I have old friends visit who of course want to hit the bars every night, I go with them and enjoy their company but often I'm bored with the repetition of the shows etc.

- I've also found a very happy 'family' life and that's much more important to me.

- Also become part of a small network of farang long-term residents with Thai partners, we share lots of good discussion (not about barboys), enjoy funny moments together, cook together, and support each other emotionally etc.

Dear Kaojai

Well stated. Personally, I’ve thought of writing a similar message recently, but you’ve done a fine job in my view. My comments below are a little more critical.

I’ve lived in BKK for many years. There are so many wonderful things in BKK apart from chasing boys 1/3 your age, and then boasting about the exploit. I find it incredible to imagine the incredible waste of time some spend on their pursuits, and the degree of reporting every unnecessary detail, is downright pathetic.

Is it really necessary to have to take a bus to the far reaches of BKK to explore a new toilet, and then to report on the urinal number, on what floor, in which building, and at what time, someone saw someone else take a piss? I guess some people do not have more meaningful ways to spend their time on this Earth. I think this forum has become an excuse for sad and lonely men to try stroke their egos.

I’m sure there’ll be a lot of attacks and some pathetic attempts to justify their actions, blah, blah, blah, but face it, a lot of what I’ve read here is pretty disturbing behavior.

You're right. I've found myself sitting next to a glory hole for an hour or more, hoping for someone to feed me his cock and load. Many times nothing happened. When it does, it's very exciting. It's a rush, and that's (part of) the reason many of us go to toilets, parks, theaters & elsewhere to make random, anonymous hook-ups.

As for the reporting such ventures, it's partly 'reporting'. But mostly I'd say it's ego, at least for me. There is a certain enjoyment about people saying "Man! I wish that was me!" I used to be one of those people fantasizing. Now I'm one who's living that dream.

But part of it is to pass along information. That's part of what this site is about, cruising and community.

My experience parallels scoops. For bars, though, it is much, much less than once a month. Maybe once every six months. Saunas, maybe once per month. Cruising, every now or then.

It is mostly a steady group of fuck buddies (non-commercial) that satisfies my urges these days.

And so?
 

For the moment, two sets of questions:

1. If what one reads is so pathetic, disturbing, and unnecessary, why read it? Is appreciating the reports but criticizing the reporter akin to offing a "boy" but telling him sex is a sin? Or getting a haircut but telling the barber his job is beneath contempt? Or getting your c*c* s*c*ed (as the inimitable Sextile might put it), then fag-bashing the fellator?

2. Why bother telling a churl that you're not doing what she's churlish about? Is it like telling a racist, "I'm really not like that"?

Cupidman's take is a good one. And, as icon513 noted recently, "The quantity and detail of information posted here is just a speck compared to what appears on Thai boards like Palm Plaza and TMM." Those Thais must be horridly, horridly obsessed.

Dear stillthrobbing – Your response is exactly what I would have expected from some members on this board. Very predictable and catty. Peace, out.

Kaojai, isn't this the CRUISINGFORSEX board? Show some respect! I myself am quite settled down, maybe a massage every six weeks or so and the occasional situation arises (a few times a year) where cruising sex just happens out of coincidence. For the most part I enjoy a very stable home environment and good social relationship with my partner and friends. I still like to read CFS because it is fun and sexy and once in a while I get a good tip. There is no reason for you and your followers to belittle those on the board giving cruising information. They are obviously in the right place. You, on the other hand, may need to be looking for a new BB. If the idea of cruising upsets you so much, then maybe you can go join the Martha Stewart Knitting Club or something.

Unless obsessed,cruising is harmless and enjoyable but ultimately time-wasting.This site caters for this "hobby" which many need to get out of their system.Psychological reasons are probably endless but loneliness and a need for intimacy would be among the leading ones,not forgetting horny sexual energy.

You will get jaded and adjust your exposure but the need for an outlet like this is worthwhile.It is top heavy with one contributor though.He's eveywhere !

Cruising for sex brings to mind the Bette Midler tune "My favourite waste of time".

Love the quote. It made my day.

Thanks,
Keith

Hello... This website is cruisingforsex.com... LOL

If you fail to appreciate the community spirit by which men are motivated to share their info about hot guys, hot massage venues and, yes, a hot toilet stall on the out reaches of town, why then do you come here? That is a bit like me going to CNN.com and complaining all they do is write about the news.

Keith

And thank you to sextile and others for your detailed reports, your efforts are greatly appreciated.

Didn't mean it to be particularly critical of others anymore than myself. It doesn't "bother me so much" as someone stated, but I don't think there's anything wrong in occasionally putting what you do in a broader perspective.

Yes, I realize this board is entitled "cruisuing for sex," and I have no problem with the pursuit of sex for enjoyment. I have a long term, younger (than me) Thai friend who I love/like on many, many levels, some of which obviously relate to his sexual appeal.

I raised the question here because it is the cruising for sex board. There would be little point in doing so on the Martha Stewart knitting circle website, assuming such a thing exists.

For those of us living in Thailand, camping out in the ultimate candy shop, so to speak, maybe we could occasionally ask ourselves if we are becoming obsessed with something that is beautiful in moderation, but a little gross if carried on to excess. There are clearly some people here who could not have much time left in their lives for anything else, based on their compulsive, daily postings.

I like dark chocolate, some Chilean cabernets and Chinese blue & white porcelain, among other things. I know that I have to use some restraint regarding each. Of course, in the end, it's totally up to you.

Obviously StillThrobbing has issues that only he can deal with and if he wants to cater to them ... at least in his imagination from outside Thailand ... there's no reason why he shouldn't.

Issues?
 

"Obviously," my main issue at the moment is haughty, censorious busybodies.

Being expats doesn't excuse them.

I'd prefer compulsive, daily posters any day.