Greggy, Jess,

With respect, there are also a lot of other foreigners living here, long term, who have long term relationships with young Thai guys who have never been go-go boys, and are not business men with substantial resources.

The young man I share a home with was working in a small nondescript restaurant in an outer suburb of Bangkok. I went to that area because of a client project and just stumbled across the restaurant. One chance in millions. He couldn't speak one word of English, fortunately I speak quite a lot of Thai.

The same project continued for several months and I went to the restaurant every day for lunch and often an early dinner, quite often the only customer. I established that he had finished primary school in the temple where he had lived for several years because his parents couldn't afford to feed all the children. He had never been to high school, and was desperate to learn anything. One day he showed me the ancient and tattered Thai textbooks he had read over and over. All had blocks of pages torn out. He had one pair of jeans, three T shirts, and a worn out pair of cheap sports shoes, basically his entire belongings.

I discretely made an arrangement to meet him outside of work, and eventually he came to live with me and stopped work (at my suggestion, so that he could concentrate on school). He's now almost completed adult high school, and tops his class for every examination, and he's just lodged his application to a good Thai university.

I consider myself very lucky to have met him. He appreciates every thing I have helped him with, and he makes sure he shows his appreciation.

I will also freely admit that keeping him is not cheap, but I am most certainly not complaining. I rent a larger condo so that he can have his own room, which he has turned into a well organized study room. His high school fees are tiny, however the school continuously asks for hefty contributions to sports days, equipment of all sorts, trips, contributions to temples, etc etc. He's the captain of the school football team, just recently all students were asked to pay 3,000 Baht, so that the school football team could play one football match at the Chula Uni stadium. He was quite concerned that I would think he was telling me a lie, so he had a mutual friend (an older Thai business man)translate the notice from the school, and call the school to verify the amount. There are also continuous requests for funds to repair buildings, put up new school signs, etc. I pay for an annual membership of BUPA medical insurance, about 4,000 Baht a year.

Like all Thais he must contribute financially to his parents living costs. He's the only son which increases the pressure, and he must also provide funds for his two younger sisters to go to school. Recently his mother has been quite ill (verified) and he politely asked for extra funds to move her to a larger, better hospital in Khon Kaen, where she stayed for nearly two months. She has to take medication, probably for the rest of her life, which is quite expensive, and is not covered by the Tokin 30 Baht medical scheme. He jogs at least 10 kilometres every day, he eats like a horse - it all costs money. The list goes on

He initially had quite a problem with an older sister when she discovered that he had contact with a farang. For at least a year or more there were continuous requests for motor cycles, pick up trucks, you name it. He bravely pushed them aside, but the sister involved gave him quite a hard time.

The cost of living has gone up substantially in Bangkok over the last few years, rent, food, clothing etc, and there is absolutely enormous peer pressure on young Thais to have a mobile phone, fashion clothes etc. If friends discover that a young man has a sponsor, there is a good chance he'll be expected to always pick up the bill for meals etc. And there is a good chance he'll not want his friends to know that his sponsor is a male farang.

The young man who lives with me is very masculine, but like most Thais very gentle, quietly spoken and polite. His friends at high school don't know he lives with a farang and me makes sure they don't find out. Why, because he knows that he'll get nasty comments about money boys and about gays. In our condo building he regularly gets snide comments from the other Thai owners & tenants, and the maids who clean the corridors etc. He grits his teeth and ignores it. But I know that it hurts him.

Jess, it's not easy, it's not cheap, but the rewards are worth it.

Please also note one of the post about entrepreneurs. There are plenty of them and they can be quite clever, and very charming. I've seen several friends totally drained.

Regards

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