This is not true. Nothing has changed in the last ten years. AIDS was with us in 1994, and every other STD has been with us FOREVER.

I wanted to avoid this thread, but I think it's worth a few comments now.

I have STRONGLY disagreed with Yogi about other issues, yet this time around, I see his point. While I am not nearly as blasé and jolly about the subject of STDs as he seems to be, there is no reason to get in an uproar over a case of the clap.

The original post was intended as a caring and considerate reminder and it was thoughtful of someone to share his story so that we all can give some additional thought to something we may push out of our minds far too often. Nothing wrong with that. This is why I didn't respond -- there was nothing to say. Good advice, just let it be.

Yet there is no need to sit around and fret or get overly paranoid. While it IS true that the clap and syphilis are sometimes symptomless, it is pretty rare, at least in the United States, for these STDs to go unnoticed for long. ABSOLUTELY we can spread these diseases around -- and we do. They are on the rise as of late. That's not good news. By the same token, SOMETHING preventable is on the rise every freaking year. Are we going to become terrified to live our lives because of it, are are we going to keep a level head and not succumb to EITHER reckless and wanton behavior OR crippling paranoia?

Once again, I make my case for a HAPPY MEDIUM.

HIV is DEADLY. There is no cure. It is symptomless for MANY years. You can spread it to others by being a fool. It is entirely preventable. Most other STDs can be taken care of, show symptoms much more often, and generally speaking, do NOT kill you (at least not as a sure thing, as HIV does).

So this is where MOST of us seem to draw the line. "Safer sex" as a means of preventing and (hopefully) someday stopping the spread of HIV, a deadly disease. Most of us will not give up other forms of sex, things which are PROVEN to be safer.

KD won't let a guy suck him or vice versa without a condom. This is HIS choice. It doesn't mean he lives in fear -- he's simply made his own assessment of what level of risk he is willing to take. He's acted on this and stands firm. That's admirable. I respect that decision -- but it is not acceptable for ME.

Yep, I'm at risk for orally transmitted STDs -- and that's a risk I am well aware of. If I put on a condom on my dick to get sucked, I'd never get sucked. I'd feel nothing, I wouldn't get hard, and I'd end up with no sex life at all. I may as well live in a monastery and get it done with. This is MY personal choice, my acceptable level of risk. It's up to the guys who want to suck my dick to decide for themselves what THEY want.

AIDS is different. I refuse to have it on my conscience that I could contract or spread a fatal disease by behaving foolishly. Doing so would put other human beings at risk for death. I won't do it. I draw the line at unsafe sexual practices that have a high risk of HIV transmission. And to be very honest here -- I think the vast majority of men out there share my choice. Gay sex may not be necessary for the procreation of the species, but as MEN, we are biologically driven to have sex. Give it up completely? No... it ain't gonna happen.

I agree -- the clap and syphilis are often TOO lightly discussed. They are often used as television jokes. In this day and age, they've become funny in light of the fact that there's this virus out there that is SO much more deadly. Let's be totally honest now... if any of us had a choice, we'd EASILY pick a curable and treatable STD over AIDS, wouldn't we?

One thing not mentioned here which bugged me -- the statement from a doctor that men who do "oral only" are more likely to spread the clap. I am dubious about this. Hasn't this doctor considered that men who engage in even MORE dangerous behavior are just as likely to spread the clap? In fact, men with HIV who still suck dick are MUCH more likely to have ANOTHER STD -- or a wide variety of contagious infections. Men who fuck almost always also SUCK and get sucked as a prelude to anal intercourse, and sometimes instead of it if they can't get it. HIV puts us at a higher risk of contracting and spreading OTHER STDs. I think this doc isn't looking at the whole picture here. Fuck me for disagreeing with a doc -- but I do.

The matter of explaining these types of situations to your partner, wife or girlfriend -- well, that's another topic entirely. You screw around, you take the risks, you'd better be prepared to face the consequences. I have no pity for anyone having to go through this situation, except maybe the unsuspecting partner (no offense to one of my buds out there -- but he already knows this and it doesn't mean I don't like him).

Just use a little common sense, guys. Have a bit of decency toward your partner. If you're cheating, ask yourself WHY and deal with it.

Don't be reckless, don't be a fool -- but don't be a hermit and live your life in fear, existing on Prozac or Paxil to keep you calm.

THINK before you act. Weigh your options, educate yourself, be aware of the risks and stick to your guns regarding your own personal level of risk.

If I spend my life eating McDonald's Quarter Pounders for lunch every single day, I'm not going to have much success warning anyone else when I find out my cholesterol level is higher than Cheech Marin circa 1967. Anyone with half a brain (maybe less) already knows this.

Gentle reminders, a sharing of a story -- that's totally cool. Freaking out is not.

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