Most of us have been there and have done that. One way or the other. We have also drawn our conclusions and now believe, we have learned from our own lessons.
This is what I have learned:
Love is rarely a very constant emotion. It comes and unfortunately goes as it pleases. No one can really control that. You can learn to let go, though. When the time for this comes, that 'letting go' might be the greatest manifestation of love. It is invariably that last song of a swan...
Love might be someone's servant but it always tends to be a very poor master. I have no control over whom I find attractive and desirable. Frankly, I even do not want to control that. I want a surprise every now and then, too. But I can control, with whom I get emotionally involved to the point of falling in love. And I would never wish to relinquish that power.
I have learned to differentiate between a frenetic sexual attraction and the bedroom passions from my love life. Just because, I think that he is the hunkiest, and the studiest dude who put his feet on my shoulders, did and said everything I hoped for, even in my wildest dreams, I know its worth. And I know, I am miles away from falling in love.
Sex is a messy business, as many will tell you. And not only in the usual sense of the word. Getting a good lay often tends to be even messier than a lay itself. So, if you choose to play that field, better get ready. And strange, when it comes to sex, somehow, all that mess works. When it comes to love and the committment, the mess, if created, is lethal.
My bottomline: Learn to let go and move on. Neither be a slave to your love nor let the love enslave you.
Learn that those who draw the swords will die from swords and that those who refuse to draw them will come back on their sheilds, too. No one always wins this game.
Thank the gods profusely for every breath of air you inhaled while you were in love. And thank them equally so, for helping you survive its loss.
KD
