Very true: we are all making assumptions here and we are all relating your situation to things that have happened in our own lives. No one correlation will be EXACTLY correct for you, but it's often very helpful to be able to listen to various insights, suggestions and opinions and use these (or reject them, as need be) when pondering your own life.
I suppose it wouldn't be fair if I just talked of all the BAD shit that has happened -- it's just that my own "end game" and yours have a lot of similarities, so that was a big focus of my dialogue.
I've looked at my past and often thought that it was just so much wasted time -- but I know this isn't true at all. At first, I was resentful and angry: "How DARE he waste MY life!" But that isn't fair to him -- or me. My ex may have felt the same thing: "This guy wasted my life; I wasn't in love with him, yet I stayed with him and could have had better." That's a hard pill to swallow, for me. But... even though he went about ending our relationship in a horrible and abusive fashion -- if ending the relationship was best for HIM... who am I to deny him his freedom and happiness?
All those years together -- they happened for a reason. Lessons were learned. Good times were shared. A friendship was created. Memories remain. Our time together is a part of me now, and always will be.
Regrets are part of life. We all have them. But likewise, we all have our triumphs, too. We can learn from BOTH.
I was the one who called up my ex all those long years ago and made a date with him -- my first date ever with another man. I was nervous as hell. I called him from a phone booth outside a Pizza Hut because I was still living with my parents and afraid to talk to him in the house. I rode my bike over there (I had a car, but was in the mood for a bike ride), my pockets filled with change, his phone number (in his handwriting), burning a hole in my pocket. I was excited and nervous. I wasn't sure I could go through it, never having done anything like this before. But I did.
If I could go back in time and change all that, if I could choose again to NOT call him -- I am quite sure I would do it all over again. I wouldn't change a thing...
As for your missing post... that sucks, bud. Do try typing it into WordPad, at least, so you can save it on your hard drive and not lose your time and effort if the boards fail. You may also want to try wiping your temporary internet files before you log in again. I've noticed that the last few weeks have seen some delays on the message boards here, though not on other areas of the site. Not sure if that is part of the problem or not, but the boards have been working smoothly for me since Monday.
Anyway, continued good luck to you.
|