Wanna,
Sorry to hear it's turning out this way. Even though your loss is very personal, realize we've all been there too in one way or another.
You are in mourning right now. And mourning takes time. It also involves tears, anger, guilt, depression, and even denial at times. Sometimes you can run through everything in less than a minute. Other times, each episode can last hours or days. Just recognize this loss will affect you for a while in ways that can surprise you.
Scruffy's right in that you need to focus on yourself at this time and make sure you treat yourself well. Pamper yourself and if you can, take a break from work and stress in general.
Don't try to diminish the hurt, but accept it. Fighting it or trying to avoid it will only make it worse. If tears come, let them flow. Then dry your eyes, tell yourself it's all right and go on.
A good walk in the sun can do wonders. So can the touch of another who empathizes and understands. This is not the time to isolate yourself, but keep yourself out there mingling and in contact with the world.
Take a note from other times you have lost someone. What worked and what did not? Do what worked and avoid what didn't.
P.S. A little chocolate works wonders-My favorite combo is chocolate and caramel. It's hard for me to be depressed while enjoying a Russell Stover's chocolate-covered caramel. YMMV.
