Looks like you've pretty much answered your question for yourself, buddy. Often the answers we seek which seem to elude us are right there, if we are willing to blow off the dust a bit to see them more clearly. Asking questions about such things still serves a useful purpose, though: we need to seek confirmation of our ideas, and we sometimes feel more at ease with who we are when someone else hits upon one of our sneaking suspicions.

So you say you have a fear of STDs. Good, as long as it doesn't start to completely ruin your sex life. From what you've said here, it doesn't seem that way; you engage in activities which make you feel more safe, more comfortable, and still provide the kind of sex you say you enjoy best (sucking dick). A "healthy" fear isn't a bad thing -- a paranoid and delusional fear is. Common sense is all you need -- and that bit of concern for your own health and safety will keep you alive. As long as you are in a comfortable place, I see no reason why you should try to change that (but we can talk a bit about that more later).

You say you consider yourself a cocksucker by definition. Again: good for you. I bet you're very skilled at it, too. I've never met a guy who was proud enough of his skills to be able to come out and say "I'm a cocksucker and I love dick!" who was NOT good at it! Being able to understand what you like best and be free from shame of it gives you an advantage over other guys who suck dick but are doubtful of their skill (obviously).

I know a few guys who call themselves cocksuckers -- they're all quite serious about it and able to work some magic on my dick. And I'm not easy to get off, either. Some of these guys DO like to get fucked, others do not. One of them, a guy who has been my "buddy" the longest, knows I won't fuck him so if he needs that, he gets it elsewhere. He tells me he is always safe about, and we've had long talks about the importance of condom use. I feel secure he is telling the truth, but I still don't do anything high risk with him. When he wants dick and he's in need of cum, he seeks me out. I'm fine with that.

And I've met guys who define themselves as bottoms. Of these guys, a few suck dick very well, putting themselves in a submissive role as cocksucker to meet MY needs. But a few of them, guys I meet once and have no desire to meet again, more or less just suck dick because they feel they HAVE to in order to get fucked later. They put no effort into it, they don't much care what the other guy likes or wants, they just do it by rote in the hopes of getting plowed. Clearly, this isn't my scene. Five minutes of boring licking and they're ready to bend over. Oh, well... There's plenty of men out there who can accommodate their needs, but I'm not one of them. We both just move on. What bugs me is when these guys pretend to be something they are not in order to get something they know I won't provide. They always think they can convince me or trick me or something. They're wrong, and both of us leave unsatisfied.

The point is: don't try to be something you are not. If sucking dick makes you happy, by all means -- be happy!

But you asked the question for a reason, so I'm guessing that maybe there is a guy in your life right now that you WANT to fuck. Or perhaps you are just in the mood to try a few new things. This is OK, too.

Do you think you'd still cum too quickly when wearing a condom? After all, condoms do take away a good amount of sensation. Try a "non-premium" condom -- sometimes these are thicker and allow even less sensation than some of the more well known name brands. I am NOT telling you to get cheap ass condoms that break easily, I'm just saying to try some different ones and see what works best for you.

Desensitizing cream? It sounds silly, and you often see this shit in bookstores with labels that make it sound like a wonder product. It's not, but it won't hurt you and it just might help a bit. It's just a topical anesthetic you can put on your penis. Give it a shot. Do try it alone the first few times, though: sometimes it can numb you TOO much, and you end up with a soft dick, which is what you are trying to avoid.

Probably the most important thing of all, at least in my opinion, is to find a partner who is willing to be patient and allow YOU to learn. They say the best tops used to be the best bottoms. I have no idea if that's true or not, but even though it has been a long time since you've been fucked yourself, I'll imagine it's like riding a bike: you're going to remember what is required to make it good for the guy. If you feel pressured or not ready, your partner should be able to accept this and give you the time you need. If you get things out in the open FIRST and TELL him that you might pop off rather fast, he may be OK with this and not make an issue out of it.

I have to be honest here... even though I haven't, I've THOUGHT about fucking a few guys that I'm into, and while I can get my dick sucked for hours and hours, I rather think I'd be much more likely to shoot fast if I were to fuck them. I don't think this is all that unusual, at least until practice and experience enter the picture.

I've also run into a few guys who feel as you do: they'd rather not GET sucked, for whatever reasons. They prefer to DO the sucking. Maybe this is partly, for you at least, because you cum quickly. There may be other reasons, too. I know this one guy, have seen him off and on for about two years. He's a cool guy and he loves sucking dick, so he does a good job. But he has a LOT of trouble with cumming quickly, and admittedly, this gets frustrating. At first, he'd jerk himself off when sucking me, then shoot his load after a few minutes. Clearly, this didn't work for me and he'd leave me with a hard dick and nothing to show for it. As time went by, I decided to keep meeting him, giving him little hints at first, then bigger hints, that I wanted him to last longer. Ultimately, he stopped playing with his dick until he got me to cum. However, he's a decent looking guy, and there's something I like about him. He's kind of big-boned, just a little bit stocky, very shy and quiet and wears glasses. I decided, after feeling his dick when he was blowing me, that I would enjoy getting a taste of it myself.

He had no problem with this, but I have to say -- I barely get him erect and he's blowing a load. I've really tried hard to be cautious with him, too. I think by now I know what his dick likes, and I'm familiar with techniques to delay orgasm. Yet no matter what, this guy cums anywhere from literally thirty seconds to a few minutes later no matter what. The absolute longest he's ever lasted is ten minutes, which is respectable, more or less, except that these ten minutes were broken up into two minute intervals, with him going back down on me each time! So... OK... two minutes is his limit. Damn shame, but I still don't turn down HIS cocksucking skills.

Well, all this rambling more or less to tell you that it's OK to be what you want to be and enjoy the things you enjoy the most. Seek out men who appreciate what you do and want to be on the receiving end of a great blowjob. I'd be one of those guys, and believe me, there's plenty more out there just like me. Well, hopefully not JUST like me, but you know what I mean.

Find a partner who you can talk to, or at least briefly discuss any concerns you might have first. This may alleviate some worry on your end (and his), and if something "goes wrong," neither of you will care much. It will be expected, after all. And if it goes well... you'll get a nice surprise.

Try out a few sexual aides -- condoms, toys, cockrings, creams, whatever. They may help, but keep in mind that these are just tools.

And if you want to train yourself to last longer in certain situations, you can do that, too. And again, probably the best way to go about this is to find a partner who is willing to work with you. If someone said to me that he wanted to learn how to last longer, I'd rather enjoy teaching him. If he came quickly, I'd expect it and wouldn't be upset. And really, those no reason to be upset about it, especially not if the guy is honest. While there may be no magic "reset" button you can press to get hard instantly and go a second time, most healthy and happy dicks will reset just fine on their own before too long. So maybe you can find a dude who is looking for multiple blasts. Odds are you'll last longer the second and third time around, too.

You say you can last a long time when jerking off -- this is true for many guys. But it's also true for many guys that you can probably get yourself off very quickly if you want to. There's is probably a technique you can use to make yourself cum when jerking off, so try to get yourself there and then STOP. Do this often until you learn how to control it better and better. Teach this to the other guy. And by all means, when you are with another dude, don't be shy about telling him to ease off when necessary. Look, even though I can last a long time getting sucked, a lot of guys get me very close very often. If we both want it to last even longer, I just tell him to go easy. He does. I know just how much my dick can take, so I slow him down or stop him before I get there. Being in tune with your penis is really important, but it takes some (happy) practice to discover what is going to send you over the edge. If you find that certain other sensory stimuli bring you closer faster than you want, try to eliminate a few of these if you can, at least when you're practicing. If SEEING the guy really gets you off, try it in a very dark room a few times. If, say, touching a guy's chest makes you hot when he's blowing you and gets you close, just keep your hands off for a while. Shit like that...

As for your question about whether all cocksuckers think about sucking dick all the time -- well, not being a true cocksucker myself, I'm not entirely sure. But I CAN say that I personally, along with most men I know, sure do think about SEX all the time. So it makes sense that a guy would think about the kind of sex he likes MOST all the time. I think about getting sucked ALL the time, as if you hadn't figured that out by now. Sounds pretty normal to me. You say this doesn't interfere with your non-sexual life, so I see no problem here. Enjoy your sexual thoughts and fantasies, they're a natural and normal part of life.

And by all means, have fun practicing!

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